The Things we do to get over people

The Things we do hey ,Hi Friends To get over someone Ive found myself turning to music and lots of coffee ,I also temporarily turned to an old ex ,maybe its the lonliness that does this I guess Im tryna figure out exactly why I try to have relationships wether its possibly lonliness,for attention or prehaps Im bored ,anyway in other areas lifes improoving I may have an Idea Of where Id like to pursue getting work ,I may hopefully have a car in a month or so fingers crossed so theres other good things to focus on I supose and yet I still find myself missing having a relationship and I know logically it wasnt the healthiest at times but yeah I miss the company ,part of me feels Im not a functiong enough person to have a relationship but the other side of me longs for company and connection but Im trying my best to just get used to the being alone feeling again ,strangely Im good at being strong alone so maybe I miss the feeling of relying on someone ,mind you Ive also self sabotaged a bit on a dating site telling total strangers negativity about myself ,Ive had times of anxiety and depression I guess its hard to fill in all this extra time I now have That I used to have with that person but I have to adjust and I will eventually ,Ive been also doing self care ,but goodness the amount of coffee I have per day is not the usual ,maybe ill be close to accepting things soon aften this weird phase ,just have to keep finding ways to be busy ,thats why Im probly gonna focus on getting a job even if its something basic just to be out of the house a few hours a week ,maybe a food delivry driver or something ,something that helps other people or retail ,Ive been throwing my self back into some study although short term its nice to learn something new ,mind you I Have blocked the person Ive broke with Ive kept him in the background as a kind of aquantince on social media byt I dont talk to them ,the weird thing is I notice they seem to look at my new posts not in a creepy way I think maybe or I would like to think they may miss me I dont know I guess I have left things open but not really ready to date anyone else so yet so I have to just focus on my own things for a while which does help a little