Ins and outs of deciding to stop self harm

Some great questions @TheVorticon and thanks for sharing your experiences!

I beleive the community will have some insights to share with you as I don't SH myself so not my lived experience. But I do love lists and it sounds like a great idea to have a list of alternative's.

Take care

RiverSeal

Hey @TheVorticon

I used to self-harm a lot. I think the thing that motivated me to stop was that it was a lot of effort honestly. It became easier to do the alternate actions than to self-harm. Took less time and work almost as well. Also, once I have a streak going it’s nice to keep it going. And I guess I know the people around me would want me to not self-harm. I also got sick of having to hide it. None of these are particularly good reasons but all together they worked for me, I guess.

@TheVorticon fantastic question. I am glad you asked, because I often wonder the same too.

@Lapis_Anteater thank you, that makes sense to me also.

For me, I stopped SH when a friend told me how worried they were and they were having nightmares about it. I am a very empathetic person (sometimes too much!!), so seeing how it hurt and distressed a friend was enough for me to stop at that age of my life.

However 20 years later and that reason isn't relevant to me anymore, is it?

However, similar to what LA said about "once you're on a streak you dont want to break it" - i've been able to use that as a reason to continue not to.

I think I've read before @tyme was it that had a good experience with a therapist re: SH? And working with them to not want to use SH and wanting to use other strategies?

(Sorry if it wasnt you, my memory may be wrong. But it sticks in my mind as being from you).

@AlwaysMyself @TheVorticon @Lapis_Anteater

TW: SH

I can see that each person has their own story around SH and how they overcame it. It's important to find what works for you.

All the best! Thank you to all those who have shared their story here.

Thanks @RiverSeal.

Hi @Lapis_Anteater. Thanks for sharing your reasons. I'm glad they all work together for you.

@AlwaysMyself that's cool that after your original reason that you're keeping a streak.

I think for a long time, for focused on the self-harm, but did little with the emotions driving the SH.

So when the emotional rollercoaster was managed, the SH fell away @TheVorticon

Please look after yourself.

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@TheVorticon wrote:
Ah yeah I get that @tyme. More effective to get at the root of the issue rather than trying to start at the symptom.

My psych was suggesting I try to find a strategy equally 'satisfying' but less physically abusive to myself. Seems like the biggest source of motivation for me would be to imagine that he cares but that's a bit much pressure and wouldn't really work long term.

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I get what he means @TheVorticon . I've worked as a behaviour practitioner in the past and one thing about behaviour change is that you cannot ask someone to stop a behaviour without teaching a replacement behaviour that has the similar effect. So I guess it's the same with SH.

But as my psych also said, it's okay to have thoughts of self-harm and allowing those thoughts becuase it's not the thoughts that are harmful, but the actions. The reason he said to allow the thoughts is that if you keep wishing the thoughts away, the more the thoughts are there....

Sorry, I may not be making sense.