FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Something’s not right

I'm so down about my diagnosis

I'm so down about my diagnosis

I'm so down about my diagnosis, I have everything perfect, job, kids, husband. But I just feel like I want it to end, I think of ways. But there are none, nothing I can do without hurting people. So I continue to SH to feel like the world has stopped just for a few seconds.

7 replies

1 - 7 of 7

In response to: I'm so down about my diagnosis

Re: I'm so down about my diagnosis

Hi @Angels333

I'm so sorry to hear that you're struggling. Having that on your shoulders must be beyond tough.

SH is a way of coping, and you're just doing the best you can. So I hope you're not being too tough on yourself.

Are there strategies in the past you have found helpful to replace SHing?

I'd be interested to hear if any other members have strategies they use when they have an urge to SH

I hope you don't mind me moving your post from Night Shift. I was worried it was going to get lost in there among the many conversations going on in there.

In response to: I'm so down about my diagnosis

Re: I'm so down about my diagnosis

Hugz @Angels333, so many of us here know how distressing it is to live with day after day, always two steps fwd one back it seems. I'm not sure there's more you can do than you are accept what Nik says - be kind to yourself. These are the times we cocoon ourselves in self care mode - be kind & gemtle - especially in our thoughts and conclusions and high expectations of self. Its not easy to be in a ouch with me ur thoughts but what we say or write in journals can reveal much. At my psych apt Tues she helped me see how critical / judgemental I was being in my thinking and words by repeating it back to me. Saying - how 'bad' I am, 'inadequate' 'lazy' 'unloveable' ' 'pushy'... ... and in turn have high expectations of others, bitterly disappointed and abandoned... ... But not allowing things to 'JUST BE' WITHOUT JUDGEMENT. To let it all go I guess, and just be, in light and love, without all.the extra coping mechanisms. We are enough. But I know you're tired too, so rest. Hope I haven't said too much, just remember the days you describe and how hard they were and feel for you and want you to know I hear you, and that it will get better. Hang in there. Live for the good days - they're waiting for you xox

In response to: Re: I'm so down about my diagnosis

Re: I'm so down about my diagnosis

@Angels333 ..... I know you communicate through art.

In SHing you are trying to communicate something .....

Please try .... just try .... to pick up some paints and express onto a canvas or paper .... pick up colours and just make marks .... any marks .... on the page. Write marks over marks ... just pour out marks and colour everywhere !!

Pencils, a pencil, a pen .... anything .... big swirls, zigzag lines, colouring over the same place ....

Just let your feelings out onto the page without trying to make any sense of them, just allow yourself that form of release and see what happens.

🌷💜

Here with you and feeling for you.

In response to: Re: I'm so down about my diagnosis

Re: I'm so down about my diagnosis

I SH and I am ok with that. I don't see it as a behaviour that I need to work at stopping. I want to work at the trauma stuff that drives the big feelings which in turn is the reason I choose to SH. SH-ing makes me feel better. For me it is just another tool in my toolkit that helps me to keep on keeping on.

In response to: I'm so down about my diagnosis

Re: I'm so down about my diagnosis

I've retaken back to SH. I hate myself for it but for me it's gets me through the day. It gives me that moment to breath and get all the yuck out but a few hours afterwards I still feel bad. One day I hope to be able to stop doing it.

I generally use art to help self harming and just bright a bunch of new tools but not helping at the moment.

In response to: Re: I'm so down about my diagnosis

Re: I'm so down about my diagnosis

Art is potentially another tool in the toolkit @Phoenix_Rising ....;

My D1 using cooking as a form of self-expression .... when she is feeling down she bakes biscuits .... when she is angry it's puddings .... when she is happy it's cupcakes .... you see we has a barometer when she was living at home. It she was baking puddings, look out everybody !!

My D3 dances in her room.

My S2 hammers it out on the piano.

All tools.

In response to: I'm so down about my diagnosis

Re: I'm so down about my diagnosis

Thanks guys xx
1 - 7 of 7