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Feeling lost and confused

Confused81Casual Contributor17 Sept 2025, 3:37 pm AEST

Feeling lost and confused

I'm currently in a long distance relationship with the view of me and my daughter moving at the end of the year to be with him. He had regular access to his kids until recently which has now turned into a court case. I completely respect and understand that the court case is taking up all his time and energy at the moment but I can't help feeling like I am maybe being pushed away. He doesn't always answer calls or messages which we have spoken about I have expressed I respect his stress about his kids and would completely understand if he just replied with sorry hon I am busy at the moment or just don't want to talk instead I just get ghosted especially when I can see he is online it frustrates me. I plan on bringing it up and asking where we stand once he has been to court for his kids I just don't know if I should keep reaching out every couple of days or just leave him be as he is aware I am here if/when he wants to talk. I don't want to be overbearing and push him away but at the same time I want to be able to support him through this. After a DV relationship with my ex where I was mentally and verbally abused for years this is the healthiest relationship I have been in until these last few weeks. I don't want to give up on this but at the same time I don't know if I can keep putting myself out there to keep getting ghosted. This is affecting not only me but my daughter aswell as she keeps asking if we will still be moving soon.

3 replies

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In response to: Feeling lost and confused

Stuart9726Senior Contributor17 Sept 2025, 4:06 pm AEST

Re: Feeling lost and confused

It’s easy to get stuck in your head when someone pulls back, but please don’t forget your value here. His court case is heavy and draining, but that’s about his situation — it’s not about you. You’ve already come through so much, and you deserve a relationship where you feel cared for and secure, not left guessing.

Wanting a simple “I’m busy but thinking of you” isn’t asking too much, it’s healthy communication. Your needs matter just as much as his. And most importantly, your daughter is the most important person in this — she needs to see you supported and respected as well. It’s okay to give him space, but don’t lose sight of yourself or what you and your little one truly deserve.

In response to: Re: Feeling lost and confused

Confused81Casual Contributor17 Sept 2025, 4:28 pm AEST

Re: Feeling lost and confused

@Stuart9726 Thank you so much. I have been in my head so much thinking I was being too needy just wanting the basics of hey hon sorry I am just not in the headspace for a chat but you are right its not too much to ask.

I want to know what's happening for me and my daughter if this move isn't happening we move on we will be ok I just need to know where I stand.

In response to: Re: Feeling lost and confused

Stuart9726Senior Contributor17 Sept 2025, 4:47 pm AEST

Re: Feeling lost and confused

@Confused81

I’m really glad my reply helped a bit. You’re not being too needy at all — wanting a simple check-in is such a basic thing in a relationship, and you and your daughter deserve that clarity.

I’m new here too and still finding my feet, but I want you to know I’ll always try to reply if you reach out. I hate being ghosted myself, so I get how painful that feels. You don’t have to go through this alone, I’m here if you want to chat.

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