Recovering from manic episode

hey @Juzzyju

welcome to the forums!

getting a new diagnosis sounds like a lot to take in and process, so please do take your time with it. it's hard when your reality doesn't match up to others, i imagine it can be quite an isolating and overwhelming experience. i don't have lived experience in this area so i'll tag a few members who might be able to support you 😊

look forward to seeing you around!

@simple-petal @Captain24 @DownMoreThanUp @FearofUnknown

Hi @Juzzyju

Ive never had a full blown manic episode only hypomania. So I can’t really relate but I do know the shock of getting a bipolar diagnosis.

I felt that it comes with stigma and never told anyone for about a year and then I finally confessed to mum. I didn’t get a great response. So that made it even harder. I know don’t care who knows as it’s a part of me and it makes me who I am.

Agitation is a part of it. I quite often get agitated. I’m well medicated so that has reduce my hypomanic tendencies. For me agitation is part of mania without the highs.

My best advice is to eat well and exercise but the most important thing you can do for yourself is make sure you sleep well. I have a sleep routine that I follow to enable better sleep. I also have an amazing support team with my GP, psychologist and psychiatrist

I know this is not much help as I don’t have your experience but I hope it helps to know that you are not alone.

@Juzzyju Hi friend good seeing you reach out for help. i know full well what it is like to be where you are now.

In my first major psychosis i thought i had been called by God to bring my family to Heaven but drove them into hell instead.

Such are heart wrenching wake up calls, awakening to the true reality of your life after such events, i know to be true.

Are you on meds now?

Do you have a history with depression. Have you noticed manic like times in your life before your psychosis.

(E.g having arrogant or prideful thoughts about yourself, you trying to boast your low self-esteem! Or times of best of fun, and greatest joy without further stimulants helping you achieve that? Or living existential moments about your position in the universe, as the universe, or one with the universe?)

Also was your last psychosis triggered by past traumatic events, for example emotional break downs of sadness, anger anxiety/paranoia, failures at work or school, illicit drug usage, or did this psychosis just materialise out of nowhere in your life?

i hope you do not mind sharing some thoughts about this but if you do no worries at all tell us what you feel comfortable with.

Firstly I also 100% believed my delusions were real for quite a long while. My mood was unstable when I was manic. I was grandiose and full of self importance with my scheme of delusions, I believed famous people were in love with me and people were photographing me and tracking me. At times I was euphoric, other times angry, but I don't recall feeling scared or worried about anything just annoyed with the things I thought were happening to me as part of the delusional scheme I had going in my head. I was not happy being manic, I was not myself. I don't curse or swear normally, but when I was manic, I did. I was easy to get angry or irritable and frustrated doing things. Things were harder to do when I was manic because I was also confused at times and got distracted easily and I was in a rush to do everything and my normal self control and tolerance weren’t there. I also did things that I am embarrassed about. I told a lot of people what I thought was happening in my delusion because I thought it was real. In my delusion people were hacking my phones and computers which wasn't occurring in reality but I didn't know it. I thought I was famous, and everyone wanted to know what I was doing and they were following me/stalking me. I thought I had solved important universal phenomena at one point and I was drawing spirals on bits of paper which I thought was a new discovery. I also thought the police and army knew about me and they were either helping me or following me, I wasn’t sure why exactly. I did not know how paranoid and delusional I was. I got a tech guy to check my car for bugs. I was going to take all my phones and computers to the police and I spent a lot of money buying new phones and computers. I brought locked boxes to put all the evidence in. The hardest part to get a grip on once I came back to reality was the hallucinations. I swear what I saw and heard were also real. But in hindsight, when the television said to me 'your going to be declared crazy and sent to hospital soon' that was a definite hallucination because the tv wasn't on at the time. The depression which followed the mania was terrible as well. I have had trouble overcoming the shame and guilt and embarrassment of my behaviours. I think I am coming to terms with it all. I found to deep depression that followed the mania more difficult to deal with and at one point in hospital I said in group that I preferred being psychotic to being depressed and 2 of the men in group said they knew what I was talking about. I hope what I have shared helps.

Thankyou for sharing. That really helps and makes me not feel so alone in this. I had very similar experiences. I thought I was going to be Prime Minister of Australia and when I drove anywhere in Canberra I thought I had an entourage. I also thought the police or the Governor General had people helping me. Unfortunately I think there was phone hacking and tracing happening from my ex partner which is actually true. It’s so hard to go back and distinguish what was real and what wasn’t. But I so appreciate you sharing so I don’t feel so alone. I relate to the getting frustrated and angry. The depression did really try to hit badly afterwards but I am part of an inner healing ministry where I do mind renewing exercises so I managed to stave it off. I felt a sense of grief when I realised my delusions weren’t real. It’s like you’ve been in this whole reality where everything that is happening around you, even what other people say and do, reinforces what you are thinking. It’s such a shock to the system