Tough on the missus

Does your wife have supports? I think it's important to remember that we have supports when unwell, but carers also need to have support to help them to continue supporting their loved ones @jrn

Here are some services she may want to reach out to https://www.blackdoginstitute.org.au/education-services/clinical-services/information-for-friends-family/

@tyme she does have a friend network. But unfortunately the psych counsellor thing doesn't work for her, as she had a really hard time growing up with them (she had a narcissistic mother that convinced them it was all my wifes fault). It seem that when I am doing well, the whole family does well. So I continue to try my best, but when the hard times hit, it's recprocated by her. She is at the point now where she just doesn't want to talk about it, which actually seems to help. This forum may help alot, as I can vent without weighing my wife down with the burden of my emotions. I love that woman more than anything, we have been together since 19yo, 25 years now and 2 kids. I suppose not many people realise how much the family members ride the mental health roller-coaster with them.

Thanks for the reply

Hey @jrn ,

I have to acknowledge that the fact that you are aware makes a huge difference. It's harder when people are not aware of the impact they are having on their family which makes it harder.

I wonder if your wife would want to speak to a peer worker? She can ask for a peer worker on our 1:1 Guided Recovery program : https://www.sane.org/referral

We also have Recovery Club where members can book into sessions they want: https://www.sane.org/recovery-club

All these services are free of charge.

Whether you or your wife want to access it, it's totally okay.

You are not alone in your journey.

I've been in a very dark place for many years. The black dog has control of me. It was a lot of work to get out of the hole, but eventually things shifted for me.

This is a book that used to keep me going: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XiCrniLQGYc

This one is for carers: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2VRRx7Mtep8

I learnt a lot from Russ Harris' book, The Happiness Trap, and the ACT principles. Have you read his book @jrn ?

It was a real eye opener for me.

@tyme @100% that book was like the Bible to me when I had my major episode. I have the ebooks on all of my devices. I see ACT as a "lazy mans" way of a sort of CBT, but instead of trying to replace the bad stuff, I more or less try to roll with it.

Woohoo! At last I can have a book talk with someone! @jrn

I learnt so so so much from The Happiness Trap. I've kept snippets of it so I don't forget it.

Another book that really empowered me to make changes is, The Woman who Changed her brain. It was so powerful in empowering me to understand that if I wanted to see change, I'd have to MAKE the change and keep at it. This book focuses on neuroscience and the power of neuroplasticity.