Bad juju.

It has been a long, long time since I have posted.

I got a new job. I wasn't fired from my last job, it just ran its course nicely. I found the new one in six days.

It's been OK, but I am genuinely wondering whether it's bad juju or something.

I've been in the job for two months. In that time, I have had an alcoholic relapse and missing persons incident, a serious fall, and been told I probably have benign skin cancer. My Mum has had a stroke-like incident, and we also had the sudden death of a beloved figure in our culture on top of that.

The job is 100% on site for now, and we're casual, so there's no annual leave or sick leave, but then when you do become permanent, there's a pay cut to look forward to..

I might have to change it, but my sister recommended staying at least 12-18 months. I enjoy the job itself.

The alcoholic relapse was pretty bad.

When I realised what was happening, it was already late at night. I didn't know what to do so I called the police. They arrived in one minute flat. I saw the back of a police car for the first time; they drove me up to hospital.

There was one staff member specifically there to manage the waiting room and she gave me a sandwich and some really nice hot coffee, but the hospital was busy, so I walked to the station again and asked them to call my family, which they were happy to. I have gone missing before, so they had everyone's number.

I haven't had a drink since, that was just over four weeks ago. I am hoping to go a long time completely sober, at least six months.

My family was disappointed, but they weren't angry. I felt pretty bad for my Mum. She does a lot for me. Like, a lot. She could have backed off that, but one day about a week after it happened, she made me some pasta. She cut up the red onions and laid them out on top deliberately. It's a very loving thing to do. It hit me pretty hard to know I can have a fair bit of damage done, but it's not the end of the world.

Who's cutting onions, I guess? LOL.

I am not great at talking to my family. I still haven't touched that potential cancer. The doctor said I should get a biopsy, but I haven't booked that yet.

If I mention it, they're not going to hear the word "benign". I have heard that doctors shouldn't be using the word "cancer" to refer to it, but I don't know.

I've got an appointment with my psychologist on Monday, first time in a year and nine months.