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Caring in Broken System

carervssystemNew Contributor11 Aug 2025, 9:39 pm AEST

Caring in Broken System

Hey everyone I am new —-

Carer , drained by system , forced to care system won’t do its job , advocating & feeling gaslight.

Trigger warning - suicide, self harm , witnessing attempt , BPDawarness , dual disability .

Where do I start .. I am 23 , I have been advocating , involved in heavy shit to care for family since 15.

My sister went to ED wanting admission ( re occurring pattern ) - they admitted her voluntarily… during sister stay - they self harmed ( new self harm ways ) ( harmed nurses co patients ) etc - was physically restrained. Advocated for admission / they dismissed even when finding out they missed mood stabilisation medication for FOUR DAYS.
1 day went by … multiple things happened , but sister has self harm history. This was new … I talked her through a distressing phone call.

Content/trigger warning

Flip switched [edited by moderator] - no response . Hanged up , contacted support worker - sister attempted to harm [edited by moderator] support worker, left due to being unsafe ( approved in risk management plan ) - I rushed down called 000 , police were there when I arrived. My sister has never stated those exact words … just intent to harm not k*** . Upon arriving , sister presented “ fine “ laughing with police , eating etc - “ nothing they could do “ - she did harm herself in new ways, like smashing plate [edited my moderator] ( but no medical attention needed ) - they left 10 minutes later , sister locked herself in bathroom no responsive . I broke door down , they self harmed [edited by moderator], never seen before ( BPD blank stare ) kept doing it 20 mins , chased me out of apartment… the police were called back before due to this - they just made it in time for me …. Was sectioned to go hospital with police , ED wanted to discharge next day. Since “ presenting differently . 2 mental health episodes within days , how is this system broken . I have had to contact so many ppl just to get sister to still be there as they won’t even assess risks , won’t give us anything …

2 replies

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In response to: Caring in Broken System

AlwaysMyselfSenior Contributor11 Aug 2025, 10:46 pm AEST

Re: Caring in Broken System

Hi @carervssystem ,

That sounds incredibly stressful, exhausting, scary for you and frustraiting.

Have you submitted any feedback to the hospital about the her treatment? Especially the absence of administering medications for 4 days as an inpatient. Hospitals are required to have feedback mechanisms, and it can help them flag and review concerning patterns in operations and clinical care.

I dont know much about the hospital and emergency department treatment of mental health, other than I consistently hear negative stories from so many people. 😞 I'm really sorry that you and your sister are also experiencing this.

I know my local area hospitals are struggling with funding and staffing in all areas, but especially with the demand for mental health services. Even well-intent staff who want to give the best care possible can be pressured to discharge patients as soon as possible to make beds available for incoming crisis patients. However, the hospitals near me also have follow-up after discharge from their outpatient/community services mental health teams.

Does the hospital provide follow-up after discharge for your sister? Are you able to raise your concerns about her transition back home post-discharge with the staff to ensure there is support and regular check-ins?

In response to: Re: Caring in Broken System

tymeModerator12 Aug 2025, 10:25 pm AEST

Re: Caring in Broken System

Hi there @carervssystem ,

Thank you for sharing. I can see how distressing this is for you. I have BPD, and whilst I can relate to some of the behaviours, reactions and treatment by the system, it sounds like it's a lot more complex.

At this point, what supports do you have for yourself? Carer burnout is so real. It's important you have the support you need.

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