Partner not caring after my surgery

Hi, I had major compulsory dental surgery in hospital the other day, I’m prone to panic and anxiety and have other underlying health issues but I coped surprisingly well considering. From past experience I knew my partner wouldn’t help out or care but he promised to help me out so I trusted he would this time but I’m here because I was so wrong. He dropped me off and picked me up but that was it! I was still groggy from anaesthesia, he never offered me anything or asked how I was, it was important for me to rest but he kept waking me up to ask stupid questions and making heaps of noise, then got shitty cause the cat and dog were restless and he had to feed them, he got shitty cause he had to feed himself, my mum called his phone to see how I was but he wouldn’t ring her back and said- well what am I supposed to do!- the next morning he said I’m going to work because there’s nothing I can do here, I was supposed to be resting still my face was swollen and visibly bruised but I had to look after myself and the animals so I didn’t get any rest, he came home and again didn’t ask me how I was or offer anything, ( I had jelly and stuff made up but he couldn’t even get me that) At that point I gave up because he’s like this any time I’m sick, he always expects me to cook for him when I’m sick, last night he went on about the blinds in his room facing the wrong direction because of me and that made it hard for him to close the window!! At this point I’d had enough, I got upset and we fought and as usual he told me to leave, I wouldn’t have anything if it wasn’t for him, I wouldn’t have been able to have the surgery if it wasn’t for him ( I had to take out my own super to pay for it!) we’ve been together 22 years, he’s alienated all our nice neighbors, I’ve had no friends and don’t bother because I don’t have time for them because I always have to be home to look after him and I’d be embarrassed to have them over anyway, I know everyone says leave but these days that’s far from an easy option with cost of living and housing crisis and my dog means everything and more to me! When you try and google advice it says Talk to your partner and explain your feelings, this is not possible at all because it just ends up with F off etc, I feel a lot of advice is outdated and comes from people in a stable environment, bottom line Ive become severely depressed due to the lack of care and zero empathy and have balled my eyes out for the last two days in my room, he just ignores it and goes to sleep. The trauma of what I’ve just been through and the fact it’s literally life changing not temporary is just too much and I don’t see a way forward, on a good day he’ll say - don’t worry about cooking, I’ll make MYSELF something-

I just can’t understand how anyone can so blatantly not instinctively care about the person they’re supposed to love, it’s a vicious cycle because the more it happens the worse my anxiety is and it affects my ability to drive and work and function.
I’m sorry if this comes across as aggressive, I’m just at breaking point and it hurts so bad to have someone treat you like that and not be able to say anything to make them understand the deep hurt they are causing. I’ve always put him first Ive always cared for him when he’s sick and he’s never done as much as offer me a tea.
im sorry everyone I just really needed to get this off my chest and hopefully someone has some advice, thanks for listening