Involved in a car accident

Hello, and a big warm welcome to the forums @Girlmummy 💛

I am so sorry to hear you were in such a scary accident with your two babies... I can't imagine the overwhelm you must have felt. This is a lot for the mind and body to go through, so how you're feeling makes perfect sense. I think anyone in your position would be apprehensive and afraid about the prospect of getting back on the road. I am sure it is heartbreaking to see your little one so affected by the accident too, which wouldn't make this process any easier. I can see how much you care about your babies and how much you want to work through this fear too.

I get the sense that talking to a counsellor or psychologist about what you have been through would be really helpful here. That way, they can help to support you with gradually working towards driving how you used to. It's a LOT for our nervous system to simply bounce back after a traumatic experience - it needs time to recalibrate and to feel safe again - so how you're feeling is so understandable.

What are your thoughts on exploring more supports? And what does your care network look like at the moment? 🥰

Hi there @Girlmummy ,

I'm so sorry to hear about the car accident. It sounds like a very stressful time for all of you. Was this a while back or was it very recent?

The reason I'm asking is because I have been in car accidents in the past.

TW: Car Accident

It took a while for me to get back to driving. Each time I thought about it (flashbacks), I could feel my heart rate spike.

If this sick feeling has been going on for a while, do you think speaking to a professional may be helpful?

For myself, it was also hard to get back into the car at first. I took it slowly. First it was about sitting in the car and working on mindful breathing, then travelling local, and then eventually further. Finally, the fear fell away. It'd say it took a few weeks to be 'back to normal'. I have dash cam footage of my accidents, so if I rewatch it, it still takes my breath away for a second or so.

As for children, perhaps some professional guidance may be helpful too? My my own experiences, working with fear in children is about gradual exposure. e.g. sitting in a parked car for a bit and play games with them or let them do something they enjoy. Then moving to driving down the road with "fun" music etc... But children are all different. If you feel it's really impacting them, it might be worth speaking to a child psychologist (get a mental health care plan through your GP)?

Alternatively, you may want to call Parentline to see if they have any suggestions? It's a different number depending on which state you reside in.

Or, depending on your state, organisations such as TAC (Transport Accident Commission - VIC) MAY cover psychology.

I really hope things improve for you.

It was definitely scary, I need to look at it though “it could have been worse” it only happened end of last week so still very fresh on my mind

My support system is amazing at home and around me.
I need to maybe go speak to someone about it.
I’m just so stubborn and “hate” opening up about anything

Thankyou for you message

Hey @Girlmummy just stopping by with a quick forums tip: to make sure members are notified when you respond to them you can tag them by typing "@" and then selecting their username from the drop-down menu that should appear. You'll know it's worked when the usernames appear in blue like @tyme @AuntGlow

I'm not sure if this is similar, but when I heard my sister share an incident yesterday, I was thinking of you @Girlmummy

My sister was watching her kids during swimming lessons. Her 4 year old was in the pool on the edge and fell in. The teacher was not within a hand's reach. My sister had to get into the pool, fully clothed to get her out of the pool.

My sister was .... stressed? But the instructors spoke to her and said to try and stay calm because the child can 'feel' anxiety and we don't want her to develop a fear around water. They supported her after.

I wonder if this is similar? Once you get the support you need, the kids will 'know' and 'feel' it?

Now that you say that it only happened a few days ago, I wonder if normalising travel experience is helpful? Even if you let someone else drive down the road while you play with them and talk to them in the back of the car?

I really hope you get the support you need to work through this @Girlmummy

Knowing kids, they can be super resilient too. However, if you feel there are longer lasting impacts, it's important to reach out to a professional. I'm guessing the kids were seen my a doctor after the incident (if it was needed?)

I think it's perfectly valid for you to be impacted by this, even if it could have been worse. It was still scary and you're allowed to feel exactly how you are. @Girlmummy

I am so happy to know you have a strong support system. I get that opening up is tough... maybe this forum can be your practice ground?

Always, would love to hear an update with how you're going. How are the little ones? 💛