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Is it him or is it me?

Banana_hammockCasual Contributor26 July 2025, 3:03 pm AEST

Is it him or is it me?

So im in a relationship at the moment. It's been about 6 months but I don't know if I want to be with him or not. Im mid 30s and always been a bit of a solo person. I like my own company. Sometimes too much. So not sure if it's just that a lot has changed for me in that 6 months and im missing my old life or if he just isnt the right people for me.

On paper he is great. He has a good job a house, he is handy on the tool and in the kitchen. But I feel like in the last month or so my feelings for him are fading and not growing.

I just need someone to chat to about my thoughts and feeling

9 replies

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In response to: Is it him or is it me?

cdtofiSenior Contributor26 July 2025, 3:28 pm AEST

Re: Is it him or is it me?

Hi Banana@

Afraid you sound too much like me

Im always around if you would like to chat sometimes to someone that understands.

I gave up men many years ago

So many Aussie woman I believe prefer to be on their own

saves hassles

Im new too

Not far away

Nice to meet you

Take care

You will work it out what you Want when your ready

Good Luck

In response to: Re: Is it him or is it me?

Banana_hammockCasual Contributor26 July 2025, 3:34 pm AEST

Re: Is it him or is it me?

Hi @cdtofi

Thanks for your reply.

It's nice to know I'm not alone.

Im at that point in my life where I am questioning if this is actually what I want or if I just think it's what I want because society seems to believe women need a man and kids to survive.

Some days I wake up and im like yes I want this. I want a relationship and I want to have kids one day. And the next im the complete opposite.

But then at the same time I do feel like he is good for me. So im a bit confused

In response to: Re: Is it him or is it me?

cdtofiSenior Contributor26 July 2025, 4:07 pm AEST

Re: Is it him or is it me?

Banana@

Thats ok, It’s a pleasure

Im sure you will work it out eventually

Yes that is the way Society thinks

Then again if your not real sure like I wasn’t you end up alone raising kids

But that’s not so bad. I done it

My daughter was around 18 months when we split. She is now 48

She done alright for herself

Then 20 years later I married again, no kids

Think it lasted 3 years too long

But I have so many problems I should have remained alone, which was always my intention. I cried all the way down the aisle 🤭

Not there fault. But I do seem to think they had a lot of problems just like me.

Just different ones

Guess they just did not go together

But that’s another story

In response to: Is it him or is it me?

Dk5Senior Contributor26 July 2025, 4:29 pm AEST

Re: Is it him or is it me?

It's your life we are hear to support you. Start again maybe. It's normal to not feel the love

In response to: Re: Is it him or is it me?

Dk5Senior Contributor26 July 2025, 4:30 pm AEST

Re: Is it him or is it me?

Their are plenty of good men out their

In response to: Is it him or is it me?

KatteousMaximosNew Contributor29 July 2025, 10:03 pm AEST

Re: Is it him or is it me?

Wow - you sound like me. Been on my own 10 yrs, and have come to enjoy it and the calm it bright my like after 3 failed marriages etc. 1 yr ago a friends wife died. Known them for 20 yrs but not much in the last 15yrs. I was supporting him and his desires became known. I was not interested, until about 4 months ago, we did a few holidays and generally had fun. Until 4 weeks ago we had gone through the process of selling his house and he moved. He gave me keys and had really started to integrate into my family. I was reserved about his life as I’m not a people person. Anyway we were definitely together, then on Saturday after me not talking- he walked out of his place and didn’t tell me - so I left the keys there and took all my belongings. I’ve tried to contact him and he refuses to answer - so all my wounds from my past have been opened and trashed by the person who claimed to care for me and rallied to understand my trauma. So s far as I’m concerned, on my own I shall stay .
I hope you have more success in sorting your issues out. But for me, I’m done

In response to: Re: Is it him or is it me?

tymeModerator29 July 2025, 10:12 pm AEST

Re: Is it him or is it me?

Hi there @KatteousMaximos ,

Welcome to the forums. Thank you for sharing a snippet of you life. It sounds like you've got a wealth of experience to share on the forums.

I hope you find this space helpful as you connect with other members.

You are not alone 🙂

In response to: Re: Is it him or is it me?

cdtofiSenior Contributor23 Aug 2025, 8:48 pm AEST

Re: Is it him or is it me?

Hi
Just called in for a look.
Haven’t been here for a while but I read your last message. I was wondering what has been happening for you. Did you work things out with him or are you still done?
All the best I hope whatever you want works out for you, which ever path that your decide on

In response to: Re: Is it him or is it me?

Banana_hammockCasual Contributor24 Aug 2025, 10:58 pm AEST

Re: Is it him or is it me?

@cdtofi thanks for checking in. I kind of forgot that i put this up here.

We did work things out. We had a weekend away together which rekindled the spark. Now im spending more and more time with him and enjoying his company more than my own which I never thought would happen.

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