Blackmailed for a lonely mistake need help

Hi @Daniel92 and welcome to the forums.

I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through this. It must be really stressful and scary to have this person threaten you in this way.

I'd really encourage you to contact the police. Sharing or threatening to share these images is never okay, and in some states it is illegal. Getting in touch with the police will allow you to discuss whether this is a criminal offence in your state, although I do believe that blackmail is also illegal Australia-wide. You can check this link for some more info.

Again, I'm really sorry you're going through this and I hope that this person faces some consequences for putting you through this

Hi @Daniel92

I'm sorry to hear about this horrible experience you've had with online dating and sextortion.

It's incredibly brave of you to share your story, I appreciate your vulnerability and trust confiding in us. This is a safe, non-judgemental space where you can share your experience without fear of being shamed, we are here to listen and support you. Someone on the platform may have even had a similar experience.

Although I have not personally experienced sextortion, I want you to know that you are not alone, unfortunately there are people out there who will take advantage of lonely and trusting individuals and blackmail them for money.

I believe that many people experience catfishing, scamming, grooming or blackmailing online, but it is a crime and it's not your fault.

There is help, advice and support on how to deal with sexual extortion and I suggest you have a look at the eSafety Commissioner site for how to go about managing this situation and protecting yourself.

I hope you find connection with people here and feel less alone as you navigate this situation.

Kindly Alisse

hi @Daniel92 welcome to the forums!

i'm so so sorry that this is happening to you, that's truly disgusting behaviour from them. blackmailing/sexual extortion is a criminal offence and i really urge you to report them to the police. usually in these cases, people are advised NOT to pay - this is because they will often keep asking for more and more money, and as you mentioned as well - there's a chance they have other copies. i can hear how terrifying and painful this is for you, being mistreated by someone you trusted at one point is awful. this is more of reflection of that person's character than yours - they try to use shame/fear to keep you silent, but please know that you deserve to be heard and support. please do talk to someone in your family about this, it might be uncomfortable but they may also be able to figure out who's blackmailing you and help you report it. please contact your local police station as well - i know it's scary talking about this, but they can support you through this and provide you advice specific to your situation, and here's more information too: Dealing with sexual extortion | eSafety Commissioner

please take care - it may feel like your world is crumbling right now, but i assure you that there is support available to you and people who care about you. we're here for you 💙

edit: just realised others have shared the same link/organisation earlier on! but even more reason to check it out 😊

Hello @rav3n, @Alisse @and @Ru-bee

thank you all for your support and kind words and advice I have reported to the police again this time when ask if I wanted to be investigated I said yes originally when I reported I said no because I was afraid and just not sure what to do but I have spoke to my family that this person threatened me with and they don’t really know they so it made it easier to talk about but they know of them so using the address provided (fake but close) we managed to get a first name that matches the first name of the PayPal I made the original payment to so in the new report all this information was provided hopefully leading to this person’s downfall as they tried to cause mine I’m no longer scared of them of course I’m still anxious about the video coming out but honestly if it does that will ruin them more then it ruins me blackmail and posting explicit content with out permission two crimes and quite bad ones at that I hope they get what they deserve. This information provided also gave me the perspective that I didn't make a mistake I was just being human and trying to ignore my need to have connections but that’s not anyway to live so I hope I make some helpful connections here to so thank you all again.

@Daniel92 I'm sorry you're going through this, I saw you mentioned paypal, just wondering if you would be able to get your money back through them?, as in their fraud / loss protection, similar to how when you pay for something and you never receive it, or it's not as described etc, they'll refund it.

Also whenever someone asks me for nudes my default response is "I'd rather disappoint you in person".

Actually @Former-Member , you're right. paypal can refund the money @Daniel92

How are things going @Daniel92 ?

hey @Daniel92 thanks for the update, i'm so glad to hear you've reported it and talked to your family too. that was a big, scary step - and you did it!! i hear you about not being scared of them but still feeling anxious, that makes a lot of sense. now that the police have been involved and found more info on this person, i hope that the anxiety eases with time.

you're absolutely right, this is on them for treating you in such a way and they'll face the consequences of their actions soon. you are very human for wanting to make connections - our forums is a great place for that so feel free to stick around and explore our other spaces. we're here for ya 💙