Chronically Depressed

Hi,

My mind is constantly bullying me in life lately.

I was in hospital for some of May this year because of how depressed i am, where i was also diagnosed with an eating disorder.

I am finally receiving government benefits, which i know is a positive step forward but my severe depressive state just won't allow me to truly see anything for what it is.

I also have various medical conditions and anxiety disorders too.

I know I'm not well enough to tackle this yet but I do want to gain more independence by living on my own one day. I actually think having my own space will be helpful for at least some of my poor mental health.

I've experienced a lot over the past 8 months, including the death of a friend. I have no one else to talk to now, just generally speaking. At least not anyone that reflects my own values, etc.

I don't really know where I'm going with this post. It's hard to get into everything but i will say that i have a crisis plan in place to keep me safe and am keeping up with my appointments.

It's just so tough to only exist, trying to just make it through each and every day. I have no interests/hobbies and i just feel like I've gotten nowhere for a 29 year old..

Something I'm trying to get myself to do is go get a haircut. I can't remember the last time i was able to afford to go get it done. Now that i have a source of income, i really want to aim to get it done. My split ends are terrible.. but of course my depression brain says "what's the point?" ..

Thank you for taking your time here. I truly understand the immense struggle it is to live with illnesses, both medical and mental health related. You're not alone ❤❤❤