Dealing with betrayal.

Hello @Manama and welcome

That is such a hard situation to be in, I'm sorry that you're going through this. I'm glad that you've felt able to reach out here and share, especially if you haven't felt able to do that with those around you. That must feel pretty isolating.

It can be really challenging to rebuild trust after something like this, and can take some real time and effort. Have you considered going to couples counselling? That could give you another opportunity to explore what you've been feeling, and to work through it with the help of a professional, if that's what you're wanting to do. What do you think?

Hi @Manama so sorry that this is your situation. Betrayal is so hard to deal with and so hard to come back from.

My marriage was over within 2 years because of it. My now ex had a porn addiction which lead to multiple homosexual affairs- including when I was in hospital recovering from giving birth to our daughter.
He was never willing to address any of his issue and I had such a big trauma background that trust was already a massive struggle for me, there really was no other option for me but to leave him. Don’t get me wrong though, therapy can work, and I did give him 6 mths , but he didn’t show any change, he continued to lie to me and the damage had already been done.

I lost a lot of friends- they couldn’t never see him doing the things that he did. I only had a few people that I could talk to about it who could see right through him.

leaving was hard. I was on maternity leave still. I struggled to find a rental. And being a single mum for the last 7yrs has not been easy. It was one of the triggers to my decline in my mental health, but these forums have been an amazing support.

I think you have to do what is best for you. I was so unhappy in the end, I was in a loveless marriage. Making that final decision to leave was really hard cause my parents divorced when I was young and I absolutely hated the every second weekend thing. I didn’t want that for my daughter- but she seems to be doing fine- she is 9 now.

id really encourage you to find someone to talk to. For yourself. And couples therapy is worth a try if you want to save your marriage.

how old are your kids?

here to listen

I think I will try and find someone I can trust to confide in also but I think I will mention couples therapy even if we start off going separate to get comfortable.

Our kids are 11,6 and 4months.

Thank you for your input and I'm so sorry to hear all that. I hate to think I may have to start over but I'm also preparing for if that is what needs to happen