Help. Info, suggestions or personal experience with family member diagnosed with Schizophrenia

Hi @Big_Brother

Many many years ago when I was sectioned my parents packed up and closed my flat while I was still in hospital, and moved me into their place where I had to share a room with a horrified younger sibling.

They immediately set a weekly rent.

It sounds as though it might be difficult for your parents to establish boundaries and expectations like paying rent and contributing to expenses if they're verbally abused. But most people would see it as a basic responsibility.

Some schizophrenics struggle with "negative symptoms" that impact mood and capacity. I guess expectations such as washing his own clothes might help towards goals and structure in the day if your brother complies and doesn't neglect his hygiene. My mother refused me the dignity of responsibility for cleaning the shared room and woke me each day with vigorous sweeping.

I later reclaimed my independence or as much as I could of it while experiencing coercive control. But that's my saga that's not of interest.

WellWays might be able to help support both your brother and your parents. They do offer services in NSW. They originated as the Schizophrenia Fellowship which had a strong emphasis on families and carers.

Good luck.

There's also One Door in Sydney which supports people with schizophrenia and their families. If you are unsure what services are nearby, you can call the head to health/now called Medicare Mental Health Centres who have free short term support and can refer your brother to the supports he needs. It sounds like it'd be good for him to participate in a day program for ppl with complex MH.

I live with schizoaffective disorder which for me means I have schizophrenia and depression. I have used the head to health services and I found it really beneficial. I know others with schizophrenia who go to a day program through one door which is helpful for them. Recovery takes time, be patient even though it's hard. You're obviously a caring brother which is a wonderful start

@Big_Brother @The word “schizophrenic “ means many more things than the shrinks are probably honest about….?? Both my parents and exhusband had that diagnosis and did not behave like that. Sorry, but we don’t want to give schizophrenia a bad name.

Some expectations on your brother are fair and necessary. Bottom line….I set a financial and physical contribution expectation on my son who also has mental health issues and he has always paid board and done jobs since he was 18. I personally have done paid and unpaid work since I was very young. My parents worked as hard as they could and had serious trauma in their childhoods.

Learned helplessness is a problem. I agree your parents are enabling if they can’t set some basic boundaries. It can be due to misplaced guilt.

I have been accused of enabling, but nobody has been prepared to go through sifting my trauma stories, and I had to step up extra hard in many ways with both parents and husband.

My exes schizophrenia was also blamed on daily weed smoking for 10 years and he had an over privileged background so facing up to parenting realities was good for him.

It is a dilemma when you love someone, not to push them out into possible homelessness, but setting fair standards will probably help your brother feel better about himself, if that possible. Ah! Responsibility… where do the boundaries truly lie?

@Dimity I have seen many women do those aggressive cleaning behaviours. Not helpful. It’s partly why I try for clean and tidy enough but not over the top. Cleaning is to make a good home, not punish people or show off to others.