Narcissists, red flags, and how easy it is to spot one.

"Whatabout"

Memorise that word, it all you have to remember, and as soon as you hear it, run, just run...

Ever been with a group of friends and "Barry" (sorry to all the Barrys in the world, I am using your name badly, ok?) anyways, Barry turns up and greets everyone, Barry is a good bloke, funny and everyone likes him.

As he is saying his hellos, someone says, "Hey Barry, what is a new letter box worth these days?"
(Barry had recently backed over his letterbox.)
Barry instantly... INSTANTLY, comes back with "What about Paul, what's a new garage door worth mate?
(Paul had recently had his car roll into his garage doors when he forgot to put the handbrake on...)
Then everyone laughs and starts talking about Paul and have completely forgotten that Barry ran over his own letterbox.


Ok, this is 40 levels of wrong just happened here.

Barry is a dead set 100% malignant narcissist, [edited by moderator], and everyone thinks he is a great bloke. WTF?

Here is what happened.
Barry's knew he was going to cop shit about the letterbox.
He needed a scape goat, and knew roughly who would be at the gathering.
He also had catalogued in his head every stupid or dumb thing from everyone who he thought would be there.
[edited by moderator]
And he would of already had an order of biggest stuff up by person in his head and he would use the most embarrassing one to deflect any attention from him.
Didn't matter who it was, he was 100% before he walked in there going to throw a "friend" under the bus to save his own arse. His narcissism demanded it of him.

What happens next...
A girl sees how exciting and funny Barry is, he is the life of the party, the big noise, everyone loves him... 6 months into the relationship, Barry has been taking his time cataloguing in his head EVERY thing his new partner has done wrong.
Barry does something trivial, think of something, has dirty boots and walks on the lino, the new girlfriend knows she is going to have to clean it up because Barry doesn't do much around the house, he is too important. So she says to Barry, "Honey, can you leave your boots outside next time please, it's a bit unfair."

Barry has been walking around for the last 6 months[edited by moderator] waiting for the chance to do this.

You see barry is so emotionally empty, the only way he can raise his own self esteem is by lowering everyone elses around him.

[edited by moderator]

if you ever see anyone do a "whatabout" to anyone else, remember it and run, just run.
That person is not your friend, he will throw you under the bus to save his own arse as quick as look at you.

The next time I see someone do this, I am going to call them out in front of everyone, and I don't care the consequences, after being done in by a narcissist for 17 years, yes it happens to blokes as well...
[edited by moderator]


(hehe, ex pug. looking forward to this)