Struggles with mental health

hey @Lowrida29 welcome to the forums!

i absolutely hear you. i grew up with parents who could never let me sit with feeling angry or sad or hurt, they were in 'fix-mode' 24/7. i do get where they were coming from, it's never easy to see a loved ones in pain or suffering. but sometimes, just having someone sit with you and say that they hear you, that your feelings are valid, can be comforting.

sounds like there's a lot of uncertainty around the visa/job, it makes total sense to feel overwhelmed.

oh and i definitely relate to feeling like an outsider. it's so exhausting wearing that mask and pretending to fit in. i like that i can drop my mask here though.
i'm here if you ever wanna chat more 💙

@Lowrida29 Welcome. I am really sorry people have said things like “just look on the bright side of life” or stuff like “just be happy” or “oh you still feel crap”. I’m certain if we could just feel happy we would but psycho social disabilities don’t respond to just “thinking happy” “thinking positive”. I want to let you know that here you can be yourself and you can be honest about how you are feeling or the things that worry you.

It is understandable to feel sad when you are trying to secure permanent residency and maybe even citizenship. It’s scary and the way we handle this stuff as a nation is awful and causes a lot of anxiety, depression and even trauma to people. Australia would be much better off having you stay here. You are totally worthy of that. Please hang in there and don’t give up hope that you will get good news very soon and be able to live here permanently.

You are doing an awesome job in surviving something really hard. You are not alone and in this forum you are amongst friends and people who understand.

@Lowrida29 ooft! do we have the same parents? 😅 i grew with my parents focusing on my grades and achievements constantly, they barely considered my actual emotional wellbeing until i broke down in front of them in tears. i have MANY conversations with them around mental health, and at first it was awkward and hard - but it's much easier and my parents have become so much more understanding. it is absolutely possible for parents to change their views too.

i imagine it's really stressful having them await to hear your grades, and also being in another country away from home is a whole other stress. just know that even if your parents don't understand, you're struggles are still REAL. for me, it helped talking to people who DO get understand (like a counsellors/psych, people in my course, even online reddit pages, etc). sometimes i've even told my parents "i don't want solutions or answers, i just want to get somethings off my chest so i can feel less stressed. can i talk without getting a lecture please?"

definitely makes sense why the job would be stressful! if things go sideways, do you have any supports you can turn to? would you family be able to support you financially?

can i ask, what do you mean by 'wrong kind of attention'?

@Lowrida29 yep, South Asian parents can be tough!! my parents are from India and I was born in Australia... so it's hard quite hard when their concept of life and mental health is VERY different to mine. my parents do listen empathetically... at times... and at other times it's the opposite...still a big work in progress!

wow you've been working hard with applying for and getting referred to jobs! and that's really great that you've got Friday to let off some steam too.

i do not take offence at all! but i am sorry that it's been hard for you to open up. i hear you, and i can relate to having lashed out to people... i've done it a lot with my mum and sister. when we don't talk about it openly, it makes a lot of sense for those emotions to all build up and then break down when it's too much. you deserve to have a safe space to open up and release those thoughts/feelings. you deserve to be heard 💙

@Lowrida29 exactly!! it's so frustrating that 'mental health' is treated like a dirty word. but 'physical health' is so normal. if we broke our arm or had a back ache, without hesitation we'd go to the doctors so we can get support/treatment early to avoid long term damage. same goes with mental health, it's all interlinked!!

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@Lowrida29 wrote:
That said, a huge generational change is underway to create those safe spaces.

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100% agree with you, i really hope those changes come in fast and strong.

glad you have that close friend to lean on. how often do you guys catch up?

i hear that, everyone expresses themselves differently. sometimes if i can't talk about it, i go to the gym and 'exercise' it out. or i sing my heart out to songs that relate to my current feelings. journaling is great too, but i'm not consistent with it. i like mixing up the ways i release my feelings. besides journaling, do you have other healthy releases for those heavy thoughts/feelings?