Mental health issues and being able to parent

Hey @Twilightsomniac ,

We recognise parenting can be challenging at the best of times, let alone when mental health challenges are thrown into the mix.

It is great to hear that your children act as your protective factor and give you a reason to keep going.

People probably ask because they are concerned from your previous posts, but thank you for letting the community know they keep you going.

@Twilightsomniac i think you'll find that the media has alot to do with that when we hear of so many horror stories of children that have been caught up with mental health issues with their parents or family. But not everyone that has mental health issues is the same and we shouldn't be treated the same. I guess the biggest concern is children being exposed to any harmful behaviour as a result of suffering from mental health issues not saying that's the case for you but perhaps that's why people are concerned.

I can hear that you love your children and that they are the reason you keep living. It's great that you are seeking help and that you are trying to learn how to manage your mental health, that really shows how much strength you have. Take care of yourself, always here if you need to chat ❤️

@tyme and @MissGremlin

I actually expected the email from sane forums its people that know who I am and what I've been through asking that annoys me. I mean my own mother who didn't even keep me safe and let a known peadophile live with us when I was a child asked my hubby if it was safe for me to be near my kids. What right does she have to question if I can be around my own children

@Twilightsomniac i can understand your frustration there especially when it's coming from someone that failed to keep you safe. I know it's hard to see but these people are probably genuinely concerned for you and your children, it's not that they want to cause problems but rather they want to make sure you get support. You know first hand what damage it did to you growing up with your mothers mental health struggles and not being cared for properly and the things you were faced with, I'm sure you don't want that for your children which is why it's so important to get help for yourself so you can be the best person for them. You have already taken a great step in reaching out here and to other people and being open about what you are going through is important so that you can get the help you need and deserve. I've read a bit of your other posts and I'm really sorry to hear of the things you have gone through, it's horrible to have been let down by the people that are supposed to protect us and nurture us as we are growing up. You have a chance now though to change that cycle, to be a better person, to be an amazing parent to your kids and to be able to learn to manage your mental health.

Please know you are not alone and we are here to support you however we can.

@Twilightsomniac hearing you about the complexity of dealing with mental health and parenting and the general social situation. The fact is all parents deal with a range of mental health experiences, so do all kids.

I am concerned that the limited nature of current "safety" conversations are often controlling and actually spread fear and consequently make me feel unsafe. This "Yes safe/Not safe" business really worries me. It takes courage to be able to live. Life is far more nuanced. Suicidality is far more nuanced.

Like @tyme said I am glad your kids give you reasons to live. It has been the same for me... And most parents on the planet. Still we have to deal with the daily tasks while carrying our feelings.

I could relate to the crazy situation in your statement about your mother permitting a known pedophile being in the house. My mother, who had profound mental health issues did similarly.

I am also concerned about families where one person becomes the identified patient and the others are not working on their own stuff within the family dynamic. I am not seeing current mental health practices up to managing those complexities though that is what I believe they should be doing.

Not sure if it helps, but I struggle with a lot of suicidal ideation.

Take care

Apple

Hey @Twilightsomniac ,

How are you today?

I hear what you are saying.

When I was very unwell, I wasn't a parent, but I wasn't allowed to be left alone with my sister's kids even though I'd looked after them from birth. I was deeply hurt when my sister had her second child, and I wasn't even told his name. Inside, I knew I wasn't a monster and I'd never hurt them. At the same time, I knew their concerns....

Nowadays? I couldn't get rid of the kids fast enough. They are like glue to me.

Please take care @Twilightsomniac . We're thinking about you.

Hi

The history behind this issue is mind-blowing [misogyny issues].

Some of it is probably true concern that you are coping but personally, my perspective is that there is a lot of bigotry in the general community [Western countries] on this topic.

I'm so sorry you have this to deal with.