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Conflict with psych - am I overreacting?

sadboyhoursContributor22 Apr 2025, 6:10 pm AEST

Conflict with psych - am I overreacting?

At the end of last year, I booked appointments with my psychologist for all of this year. I planned to do EMDR and wanted to have consistent appointment times so that I could have my support worker pick me up and help me with all the crappy feelings that come after a session.

Anyway, she ended up changing all the appointment times not long after I made them because she was diagnosed with a chronic illness and needed to do shorter days, which I can obviously empathise with, and there were 2-3 appointments which we left as 'placeholders' for her to reschedule closer to the time because there wasn't another time that week or whatever. A few weeks ago one of those appointments got rescheduled to earlier in the day at about 48hrs notice, which meant I had to have a stranger (unknown support worker) pick me up afterwards which caused a lot of stress and anxiety for me.

Today I called her office to check if my appointment this Thursday - booked at 5pm - was going to be changed, and they said no, then asked me about 2 hours later if I wanted to change it (wording is literally "would you like to change the time to 3pm". I said no, because I didn't want to deal with the stress again. They replied "thanks for letting us know", and then about 20 minutes later I got an email from my psych - highlights include:

" Unfortunately due to my calendar being full and your wishes to have fortnightly appointments, this has necessitated offering cancellations as they arise for every second appointment which has been booked after hours" - I don't even get this, as I said there were only 2-3 appointments which couldn't be moved to business hours in the first place and they were always fortnightly, which was the frequency we agreed on together to make the therapy effective.

"At this point in time the only other option I have is to cancel the future appointments booked for 5pm to avoid any further confusion" - this was the last 5pm appointment.

"Unfortunately, if I burn out I will not be able to offer appointments to anyone" - this feels like a guilt trip to me.

I have written a reply but not sent it because I am really upset by this and I don't want to reply with too much emotion, but also because I have felt an undercurrent of unprofessionalism in our last few sessions anyway - oversharing about her health issues, not keeping on track in talk therapy sessions when I have asked her to help us focus on specific problems, etc - and I feel like I ought to find someone new, but that also feels really hard.

I have had a bad day anyway with the health system, so this has kind of been the last straw, and I am really upset - I have been ruminating on it for nearly an hour now despite coping mechanisms, and I'm conscious of making a rash decision about quitting therapy/finding someone new because of a bad day, but I also really think I need to tell her that her email was inappropriate and upsetting. I feel marginally better venting about it here but also I would like anyone else's thoughts on handling this... I would have called my support coordinator but she's on holiday for the week. Any recommendations for psychs who do EMDR in Hobart/surrounds would also be welcome...

Thankyou for reading ❤️

3 replies

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In response to: Conflict with psych - am I overreacting?

AinjouleSenior Contributor22 Apr 2025, 8:44 pm AEST

Re: Conflict with psych - am I overreacting?

Hey @sadboyhours

No, I don't think you are overreacting at all. It's natural to want to plan out a session so that you have trusted workers afterwards and it's not fair to guilted about having your very reasonable needs met, especially when you have acted with courtesy all the way along. Of course you are empathetic to you psychologists position with her health, but you go to therapy to have your needs addressed - not for your therapist to overshare about their issues. They are being paid and can go to supervision and deal with their issues that way if need be.

I think you did the right thing, taking a breather before writing back because it's easy to say something in emotion that then just gets used to justify their position. I think give yourself a little time to collect your thoughts, and maybe then write her a letter with some of the points you have raised here.

In response to: Conflict with psych - am I overreacting?

Zoe7Senior Contributor22 Apr 2025, 8:44 pm AEST

Re: Conflict with psych - am I overreacting?

From what you have said @sadboyhours I don't think you are overreacting. It is entirely up to you whether you send the email or not but maybe have a back up plan if any response comes much the same as you have already been told. It does seem like this therapist has over stepped in some areas and not really listened to you ....so I can see why you would be considering finding someone new.

Unfortunately, we are unable to recommend anyone in any geographical areas (because of anonymity) but if you do a google search with Hobart and EMDR you would have somewhere to begin.

In response to: Re: Conflict with psych - am I overreacting?

sadboyhoursContributor22 Apr 2025, 9:14 pm AEST

Re: Conflict with psych - am I overreacting?

Thanks @Ainjoule, I spoke to a friend as well who said that I should make sure the psych knows I was asked about changing the time, not told I had to change it, but either way I am really frustrated that she felt it would be appropriate to talk to me this way. I am going to sleep on it and then try to rewrite the email tomorrow when I can hopefully be calm.

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