Coping with Easter after religious trauma

@The-red-centaur this a good idea, thankyou for making this space.

Can imagine this time of year would be hard for you so I'm sending you hugs and I'm always here for you ❤️.

I don't celebrate Easter as such myself but it's when you hear people going away with family and making memories with each other that has an impact on me.

My mother, who is very religious, still doesn't call me by my name. Says I'm an abomination and won't acknowledge it. (I'm trans)

I had lot of esteem issues that stemmed from the church. They tried to cast my "demons" out multiple times. My mental health issues were seen as me not trusting God enough to heal me. I didn't have enough faith apparently. If I just believed harder, spent more time in church and prayer, God would save me. Easter reminds me that I wasn't strong enough, that only Jesus could save my life. I was going to hell because I was born into an abusive home and couldn't cope with the trauma and the life God apparently destined me to live in. It never sat right with me. The church I was in was very manipulative. Multiple conversion therapies were push on me. Multiple exorcism. The church eventually gave up and disowned me, I was too much hard work. Everyone stopped talking me.

It's hard to have positive memories of my Easters. Most were at church begging to God to fix things. As a child is was begging God to save me from my family. Then it became me begging him to save me from myself.

God couldn't save me. He doesn't exist. Once I got out I realised only I could save myself. I had the power to determine my life. It wasnt predestined to be filled with trauma and fail. My life wasn't gods mistake. Free from the churches abuse and control I slowly learnt how to accept myself and my life. I'm not some sinner needing to be saved. I'm just some person who was in a lot of pain and just needed love and support.

@MissGremlin i get that. I struggled with coming back to school after the holidays, everyone was talking about the cool things they did. I was just silent.

It's hard when everyone seems to have nice happy families, we look at it and wish we had that too.

@The-red-centaur thankyou for sharing your story, it takes alot of strength to open up.

I'm so sorry to hear what you've been through and I can't even imagine how hard it must of been and how much pain it still causes today. I never understood why some religions push so much belief onto others and why they couldn't just accept people for who they are. We are all different but we all matter regardless of those differences.

I'm glad you got away from that abuse and that you have been able to save yourself. You truly deserve so much love and support and we are always here for you.

@The-red-centaur yes it's horrible hearing everyone sharing happy stories of what they did during the holidays. Like don't get me wrong I'm happy for them that they can do that but it just hurts when you don't have that yourself.

@The-red-centaur

Thank you for creating this space.

I can relate to both you and @MissGremlin to some degree.

I am apparently one of the rare ones to be so so abused by the church in multiple denominations... but still a Christian...

(tempted to go into the reasoning for this but won't as I don't want to make this harder to read).

For me the hurt comes two fold... the religious triggers I face in relation to the wrong things I was taught... then the loneliness of not having a family to make memories with... or have memories of...

@avant-garde sending you hugs sweet ❤️

@avant-garde hugs. I understand why faith can be important to people, no shame of remaining a Christian despite the pains caused by the church. I like to think that beliefs and religious institutions are separate entities. Controlled religion is something jesus stood against, but it's a lot of what modern day Christianity is.

I'm sorry you have been through a lot. Having not many family memories is hard. Looking back at life and realising all the things we missed out on hurts nearly as much as all the things we had to endure.

Stay strong.

I'm tired of people pushing their religious agendas on other people. I don't care if people believe in God. I do care however if they force their views and religion on others. People are free to express their beliefs and religion, but I am also free to express that I'm not religious and don't believe in a god. Respect goes a long way. If you want me to respect your beliefs, respect mine.

-Sorry, rant over. I'm taking a break from socials now over Easter. Threads is usually the one social I enjoy but it's toxic right now. And all the stuff on autism on it right now isn't helping. Sigh. I wish people just did a little science and research before sprouting misinformation, religious or otherwise.

I might even break from here for a few days. Idk. My birthday tomorrow is bringing up stuff and the fact its colliding with this shitty Easter stuff sucks.

Thank you for sharing @The-red-centaur

Please look after yourself at this time. If you need connection, we're here. If you feel you want some time away, that's also okay.

The door is open. Hearing you.

Hugs.