Internet connections leaving me feeling lonely

Hi @Bridgetjones

How can you have internet friends without having bad feelings? - better to have human interactions that way than none at all (as long as you don't allow yourself to be conned). I have had a true email friendship going for 20 yrs now with a friend living in Germany and we are very close. Things I may find difficult to say face to face with people, I have no trouble putting in writing to her - that's the beauty of these type of distant friendships and something to feel good about.

But meeting up with her in Europe one day would be even better. Being shy does make it harder to get out and about. I will tell myself "what have I got to lose" and that would motivate me to put myself out there in interest groups, volunteering, dances - whatever! If I didn't feel comfortable what was the worse thing that could happen? I can just leave. Nothing ventured nothing gained. Good friends are hard to make yes, but Acquaintances can be good company at times too (don't have to wear the heart on the sleeve). Give it a go my friend - you may meet people feeling just like you 😊

Hi @Bridgetjones

I had penpals when I was a child. It is a way to connect so can definitely be valid.

Like @Former-Member I am going with acquaintances and being active rather than worrying about friends. Friendship has become a trigger word or me .. I have had so much longing and hope and dissappointment .. it also means I feel I have to earn the friendship or put in 150% .. and I get up in my head about ideals ... it is better for me to be practical .. keep pro-social .. but not be too invested in outcomes.

over the last 7 years I have seen a community evolve of good people .. maybe the connections are not super close .. but mostly it is genuine ... creative .. & friendly. Friendly is good enough for me. I dont need to call someone at 2am to check if they are a real friend .. everyones got lots of issues .. but we try and get on with it.

Saw a claymation with my son called Mary & Max .. quite cute.

Cheers

Hi @Bridgetjones,

I agree with @Former-Member and @Appleblossom, having connections with people via the internet can be a good way of socialising and making connections with others and it is great that you have found it an enjoyable hobby over the years. I do understand what you are saying about feeling disconnected and lonely when your social interactions are solely based online. It would also be difficult not to develop feelings for others when they are also single and are able to provide you with support.

As humans we are social beings and crave that social contact even if we do find it hard to get out there are socialise. Are you able to explain a little more about what you mean by "bad feelings"?

Perhaps the key to not developing these "bad feelings" would be to begin to form some social connections with others in person, as it sounds like this is what you are really looking for. I understand that this can be daunting, particualy if you are shy and have difficulty getting out and about and it not an easy thing to do. What sorts of things have you tried in the past?