Wife of PTSD and bipolar ex defence husband

Hey @radcat, thank you for sharing your experiences with the community!

It sounds like you are going through a tough time with your husband and demonstrating your strength and resilience by reaching out to your peers here on the Forums. It's not easy to be vulnerable, and you are really brave to share your challenges.

There is some support for carers that you might find beneficial if you would like to check it out:

https://carersqld.com.au/

Hopefully the community has some insights they can share to support you with similar experiences.

Take care

RiverSeal

Good morning @radcat my father was in the Service, therefore I felt compelled to reach out to you.

I can’t imagine what you are going through. Has the RSL offered no help?

https://rslqld.org/find-help/operation-ptsd-support

Hi thanks for your reply. I didn’t know the RSL could offer me anything. I’ll have a read of that when I get a bit of time later today.

How did your father get on?

I was married to a serviceman for twenty years and found that love, understanding, selflessness, reassurance and all manner of support on my part didn't fully work, although it was helpful in some ways. I was in therapy almost the whole marriage, which helped me navigate his behaviour better, and I grew stronger and more independent in myself. He was in denial of his condition, and wouldn't get help. He never admitted he had a problem, and so it was on me to 'manage'. Luckily there was no violence. So, in my experience, the person has to want to help themselves too if things are to improve. It's okay to acknowledge the 'disorder' but not if they won't commit to getting better. This would mean not letting the condition be an excuse for poor behaviour, and being careful, thoughtful and open about their fears, and episodes. You can't do anything about dreams, or what happened. You can only take care of yourself to manage your responses. Denial is the worst thing, and in the end, all the love and support in the world didn't make a difference to him. He left the marriage, to go on to groom someone else to put up with it. Life has been a lot easier for me since, but it is the lack of appreciation and ownership of his condition that hurts after all that time. Sorry it's not a better story.

i'm so glad to meet you here, so few partners take the time to learn to understand such horrible troubles as your husband has.

i'm also a (C.) P.T.S.D sufferer and understand what issues you are facing for my wife struggled with all the issues you do. i tell you straight away, i would not be alive it it had not been for her, for she loved me even through my worst times, and stood by me through thick and thin. Literally loving the bad life inside of me to death teaching m,e in real life that love is trust worthy and very desirable suffering from P.T.S.D

There are many things i can share with you overcoming P.T.S.D rages, anxiety, trauma memories, as well as (suicidal) depression. Both as P.T.S.D and depression sufferer, and how to best deal with people who are overcome by the bad life forced upon their loved ones. [edited by moderator]

Greetings from WA