ERP is miserable

Hi @D1ng0

It sounds like this treatment is a bit of a slog at the moment. It is awesome that you're feeling more empowered and validated by your team and that you're all on the same page, but I'm hearing just how challenging this treatment is.

While I won't pretend to know what it's really like to have OCD, I do have some people close to me who do and have given me some insight into how distressing their intrusive thoughts can be, and just how hard it can be to not engage with their compulsions.

I wish I could offer some insight into when this might start feeling a little easier for you, but I can offer support and encouragement because from what I'm hearing you are taking some massive steps and I'm sure it's taking huge amounts of strength.

@D1ng0 I haven't been through ERP therapy but currently doing something similar, exposure therapy for trauma. And it feels absolutely awful in the short term because you have to experience all of the things you have been avoiding. But that is where progress begins even if it doesn't seem that way right now. Also, I think the time it takes is a very individual thing. I wouldn't say it will be one month or that it will be one year or one day for you, as I also can't say for myself. The main thing is that you are still doing the hard work even though it's absolutely awful, and I hope you are able to acknowledge how much strength it takes for you to continue to pursue this. It will get better, but you have to go through the crap bit so that it eventually doesn't have such a hold on you anymore. Wishing you all the best for your journey. Telling your family is a *huge* step and I hope you feel comfortable to ask for their support if you need it. And/or chatting here with updates as well. 😊

Also, maybe thinking "I will get through this just for today" is helpful? I've found when I try to grasp weeks, months and years of my current feeling, it becomes overwhelming, and also isn't the truth about how I may feel in a months time. If I focus on getting through today, it's (very slightly) easier.

• I have been through it all and continue to fight OCD every day. You have no idea how strong you really are! Intrusive thoughts can completely take over your life. I would suggest

- find an OCD therapist who truly understands OCD

- Try your absolute best to stick with your ERP. The most important part of ERP is the RP response prevention. Compulsions are what keep OCD alive. Destroy your compulsions, destroy OCD.

- Give the meds some time to take effect.

- Never give up. Courage and tenacity are required to fight this monster. It's just a matter of time before you will be free and living your best life.

You are !so worth fighting for

hey @D1ng0 been thinking of you. i hope you're doing okay 💗

@Ru-bee @balance37 @Jz @rav3n Thank you all for being so supportive. I really appreciate it.

hey @D1ng0! so lovely to hear from you again!

how are you going? what have you been up to?

Hi @D1ng0

Welcome back. How have you been lately?

🙂

Hey @rav3n @balance37, thank you again.

Things have been very intense lately, which is why I've stepped back from SANE.

I've talked before in these forums about being diagnosed with OCD and bulimia. But my psychologist also gently (but persistently) kept recommending that I get assessed for autism as well. I didn't take it seriously, but as I learned more and more about how autism can present, suddenly everything started to make sense. (In fact, in retrospect, it's startlingly obvious. I now see why my psychologist was so convinced.) I got a proper assessment and, yep, I'm autistic.

It's been hard, learning about how little I was supported as a child. I've learned that teachers and other adults knew that I had learning/cognitive difficulties, but the support they gave me was so inadequate.

I've also learned that several other people in my family are autistic, and have known that I probably was too, for years, but none of them told me... or recommended that I get assessed... no matter how much I struggled. I was just left to believe I was a failure.

I'm feeling a lot of grief, and it's almost too much to swallow while still in bulimia recovery and OCD treatment. But I'm very glad to have finally learned about this part of myself.

So, how I'm going... It's complicated. What I'm up to... Just trying to manage and keep on trekking.

Anyway, that was an emotional dump, I know. Thank you for reading. I hope you're both doing okay, too.

hey @D1ng0!! it's so lovely to hear from you 😊

wow, that must've been a lot to process. it really does suck when we notice that our parents had failed us in certain areas. i know i felt similarly when i learnt my mum knew i was struggling with anxiety but decided to do nothing about it.

as overwhelming as it is to get all this info, i also hope that these answers are able to help you in your healing journey. this last year has been such a rollercoaster for you, and at the same time, i can see that you've learnt so so much about yourself. keep going slow and gently, i hope you're able to find tool and strategies to help you through.

looking forward to your next update 💙