Should I invite him?

Hi @Ellie_Fant and welcome to the forums

This is a really tricky position to be in. It sounds like you're torn between a sense wanting to do right by your cousin even if it means that you and your other cousins are uncomfortable, or to not invite them and then feel uncomfortable and perhaps guilty when this cousin asks why they were not invited. There's no easy option here.

Something I do wonder is if your cousin would have a good time if they came: Are they aware of how the other cousins feel at all? Is it possible to be honest and acknowledge that it's not a good idea for him to come and perhaps suggest another outing just for the two of you?

@Ellie_Fant the way you describe your cousin’s behaviour, begs the question of whether he is neurodivergent.

Has anyone outside the family noticed his behaviour?

Has anyone within the family given this cousin feedback about he’s behaviour?

You can say anything if you put it in the form of a question.

Hello @Ru-bee and thank you so much for your thoughtful reply. It sounds like you really understand where I'm coming from! I like to be as inclusive as possible and some other cousins are a bit more scathing. That said, my husband agrees that we should invite him.

I find it challenging to be truthful with this person. They are hugely sensitive, suffer from depression, and going through a particularly difficult time with an unwell parent. They are also currently unemployed. I don't want to be the one to break the camel's back.

I really appreciate you taking the time to reply to my dilemma. Even just putting it out there to share with some neutral strangers has made me feel better! Thank you.

Hi @Glisten, thanks for your reply! It's a great question.

This is not a qualified answer but in my personal opinion, he could very well be neurodivergent.

Yes, I've heard of other people outside the family making comments regarding this person. People within the family have made private remarks about him since childhood (we are now in our mid-40s) - as for whether anybody has given him feedback for his behaviour, that's hard to say. I certainly have (he's lived with me twice after failed relationships) but he either doesn't take me very seriously, or I soften it a lot due to being fearful of his reactions. I'm not a confrontational person so I avoid such conversations!

Thank you for taking the time to read my dilemma and reply. It means a lot to see another perspective.