Can I have Tips for Bpd in relationships

Hello @Cheesecake20- and welcome to the forums. I think the best thing would to be open with your partner and explain to him how you are feeling and your thoughts. It's not uncommon to feel this way especially with BPD but it can be managed.

Do you know where the thoughts and feelings come from? Has there been previous relationships where things have happened to break that trust? You don't have to share anything you don't want to, just trying to understand your situation.

You are not alone here and we will support you however we can 😊.

welcome @Cheesecake20- it's nice to have you here!!

relationships can be tricky to navigate, but it's really great to see you reach out here. i personally don't have bpd but i have struggled with my body image and had similar thoughts to you about someone hating me or leaving me. having trust in someone can be difficult, especially if you've been hurt before. talking to him about your fears can maybe help you feel more reassured in the relationship, let him know why you're worried and maybe think about what would help you feel safer/secure in the relationship.

the way i see it, he CHOSE to be with you as you are. i know it's hard not to think about our appearance or fear someone abandoning us, but remember that you are WORTHY of love. you are worthy of being with him. when people choose to cheat/hurt their partner, it's not the partner's fault - its because of themselves. it's a reflection of their poor character.

i hope others with bpd will be able to pop in to share some more tips and support soon too. wish you all the best with your relationship 💙

Thank you @Former-Member , him and I are pretty open with our communication just depends on the subject sometimes.

i think these thought have came from past relationships, I’ve been in abusive relations, got cheated on, pretty messed up childhood too and I got to used to all that negative stuff now that I’m transitioning back to a healthy relationship my fears and trauma have been brought up

@Cheesecake20- that's great that you are pretty open and have good communication.

Understand where the thoughts are coming from, it's very hard when you have been in abusive relationships and that trauma has been brought back up. Have you been able to get support for what you have been through previously such as seeing a psychologist/therapist?

@Former-Member I’m currently in the works of deciding if I should see someone or go back on meds

my experience with therapy and psychiatrist isn’t to good, felt like I was doing the same thing over and over again.

@Cheesecake20- it can take time to find the right therapist for you. But it's completely up to you which path you want to take, in my experience medication and therapy need to be used in conjunction to get the best outcome but it's different for everyone.

I hope you can find what works for you and I wish you all the best with your relationship 😊.

Hey @Cheesecake20- ,

I have BPD. And yes, navigating relationships can be a challenge. What I found worked well for me was:

1) open communication

2) boundary setting

For example, I would set internal boundaries for myself. e.g. I would only allow myself to ask him certain questions and no more than that. I told myself I'd have to be satisfied with the response.

With BPD, consider all the years it's taken for you to think the way you do. Then, allow yourself time to work with unlearning the unhelpful thinking patterns and relearning new ones.

Also, with your meds, can I ask what it's for? It is anxiety, depression or something?