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She's withdrawn from sex, my psychosis? Her struggling? What's fair?

mr_okNew Contributor26 Feb 2025, 2:06 pm AEDT

She's withdrawn from sex, my psychosis? Her struggling? What's fair?

Recently I had to come down from my most difficult and intense psychosis yet. I understand it must be difficult for the people around us but how long can they keep playing the victim card?

I wanted to race back into normal life as soon as I could for me and for her but she's so put off by the idea of having sex.

We've always had mismatched libidos but have at least been able to work things out, now the romance is barren. It feels unfair. I'm trying every possible way to put myself in her shoes to understand why she's not wanting to be intimate but at the end of the day you either let me in or not.

I'm the only one trying to save us from becoming housemates in a dead bedroom and the more I struggle the worse I feel. How can I get us back in bed and in love?

4 replies

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In response to: She's withdrawn from sex, my psychosis? Her struggling? What's fair?

Ru-beeModerator26 Feb 2025, 2:55 pm AEDT

Re: She's withdrawn from sex, my psychosis? Her struggling? What's fair?

Hi @mr_ok and welcome to the forums

This is clearly a really complex situation as you both manage your emotions and needs following your recent experience of psychosis. It's natural to want to seek that comfort particularly following what must have been a pretty intense experience, but it's also understandable that your partner needs time and might not feel ready for that sort of intimacy.

I'm wondering if there are other ways that you can feel intimate and connected?

Have you been able to speak about how you're each feeling and acknowledge these difficulties to each other?

In response to: She's withdrawn from sex, my psychosis? Her struggling? What's fair?

tymeModerator26 Feb 2025, 3:13 pm AEDT

Re: She's withdrawn from sex, my psychosis? Her struggling? What's fair?

Hey @mr_ok ,

Thank you for sharing.

It sure sounds challenging and I can hear you are doing everything you can to get back to 'normality'.

I'm also sensing that she is finding it difficult to just 'swtich' back to normality?

I wonder if she knows how you are feeling about everything? It may also be good to hear her out about her hesitations.

All the best with everything. We look forward to hearing how things go for you.

In response to: Re: She's withdrawn from sex, my psychosis? Her struggling? What's fair?

mr_okNew Contributor26 Feb 2025, 3:15 pm AEDT

Re: She's withdrawn from sex, my psychosis? Her struggling? What's fair?

Is that normal? To need time? If that's all it is I can work with that and cool it down for a bit.

Communication is a struggle. No matter how well I am or how well I pick my angle, she'll always make it into a fight.

In response to: Re: She's withdrawn from sex, my psychosis? Her struggling? What's fair?

tymeModerator26 Feb 2025, 3:27 pm AEDT

Re: She's withdrawn from sex, my psychosis? Her struggling? What's fair?

From my perspective, seeing you have just come from an intense period of psychosis and mental health challenges, she may have a lot of questions and hesitations in her mind.

As much as you are doing the best you can to gain a sense of 'normality', it may have been quite a challenge for her to come to terms with what has happened.

I can't say it is 'time' she needs, but maybe someone she can speak to so she can work through the hesitations in her mind?

I'm sorry to hear communication is a struggle. Does has have trusted people she can speak to @mr_ok ?

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