ex partner, substance abuse, danger to self

Hey @blue_wren ,

Sorry to hear this is happening. To be honest, as you've mentioned he's a danger to self (and maybe others), I think contact police is probably your best bet - seeing he is not willing to get help.

The last thing we want is for you to feel unsafe. I can see how this is impacting your mental health.

Do you have people you can speak to?

Also AA is really for those who are willing to make the change. It's not a walk in the park. It takes committment.

Thanks for the reply. I don't have people I can speak to. I've tried their family, but to no avail. My family don't understand. In terms of close friends, I have a few, but these topics just aren't things we talk about together - this is just not something they understand. It's so complicated with getting services involved due to their profile. I've been in the rooms for AA prior, and it is just not something that I can relate to - neither does my ex. Their seems to be such a gap in programs if AA isn't a match. It's not about it 'not being a walk in the park' , more that it's an archaic set of patriarchal ideas, that for me it just makes me angry, not therapeutic at all. I don't know of any other support groups other than these though.

What about SANE Guided Recovery Service? That might be more helpful. You can check your eligibility here: https://www.sane.org/referral

@blue_wren

You deserve to feel supported.

Thanks. I'm actually a member of the recovery program. I just had my initial welcome call and intake. First counselling session booked in a couple of weeks. Was turning to the forum for support in the moment I guess. Sorry if it's not the right place

Hey @blue_wren . Totally okay. You are not in the wrong place! I just wanted to ensure you had other supports too because you mentioned you don't have anyone to speak to.

I recognise it is so hard and you are doing your best to stay afloat.

At this time, looking after yourself is so important.

I've worked with many people who have drug/alcohol challenges, and I've seen the effect it has on loved ones.

Please know you are not alone.

Hey @blue_wren , how are you?

Hi, I'm ok. Thanks for asking. As I suspected, my ex did hurt themselves on the weekend, but isn't willing to acknowledge that alcohol is a contributing factor. I guess from now on, I have to set boundaries and as much as it hurts, and is scary, they need to take responsibility for themselves. Perhaps dealing with the guilt of stepping away is something I can add to my SANE recovery program goals. I can't keep taking it on myself.

Absolutely. They are an adult, and what they do is their responsibility. @blue_wren

Unless they acknowledge they need support, not much can change, and hence the change is in your hands in terms of keeping yourself well.

I hope things improve for you. I can see how much you care.

Hugs.