Passive Suicide

@Pugdad hello, it's lovely to have you here and welcome to the forums.

I'm sorry that your family and people you knew have turned their backs on you, it's hard when people can't accept you for who you are.

In saying that here is a non judgemental place and i hope you feel comfortable and supported on the forums.

I hear your struggles with passive suicide and that can be hard to manage. I understand the pain of wanting to just sleep and not wake up. Have you been able to see a gp and get some referrals to get some support from a counsellor or psychologist?

You are not alone and we are here to support you 😊

Hello @Pugdad and welcome to the forums.

I'm so glad that you've found this space to reach out. It can be so hard to know where to turn for support, especially when you don't have the support of your family

You've already taken a really great step in reaching out here. I know that's not an easy thing to do

@Former-Member has already put it so well, but I'll just reiterate that we're here to support you and I hope that this can be a safe space for you to continue to share and connect.

I'll also echo the suggestion of speaking to your gp, do you have one that you trust? It can be a confronting conversation to have but it is a good next step to take in getting some supports put in place for you.

Hi. Do you have a friend that you can trust?

Hi @Pugdad

It sounds like you have been through so much and still are going through it.

I do hope you find support on the forums. Everyone is welcome here.

I do agree with the others about talking to your gp about getting some extra help.

There are always help lines that you can ring and they can give you other resources that might be able to help. I always find the Sane help line a good place to start.

Please continue to post as much as you want/need.

Hey @Pugdad

First of all let me say that you are not alone in these feelings. I come from a very strict southern Baptist family in rural Texas. All but one of my family members have disowned me and want nothing to do with me. (and the only one who still speaks to me thinks I am straight) I can relate very much to that feeling, and it hurts immensely in a way I cannot put into words. To me it is like a combination of a dull ache of disappointment and the sharp pain of betrayal.

As someone who has been passively suicidal for the better part of two decades, I know the feeling isn't an easy one to feel, acknowledge, or come to terms with. Even saying it out loud, or typing it can feel like a lot.

That being said, coming here to seek support is a big step and you should be proud of yourself.

You are loved. (I mean it platonically- not barking up the wrong tree, I'm a married queer woman in her 30s lol!) but know you are so so loved- even just by folks on the internet who care deeply because they can relate to the way you are feeling or what you have been through. Know that there are people who care, even if they aren't physically near right now.

You are so much stronger than you realize. You can get through this. One day things will feel better- you just have to stick around to make sure you are here when it does.

I am not sure what your beliefs are these days, but if you ever want to vent to an Exvangelical, I am here to listen without judgment.