Help for a friend (possible undiagnosed BPD/Bipolar)

Hey @ninja3 ,

That sounds quite odd. It is understandable that the behaviour of your friend can be so confusing for you.

When we look at mental health, the clue is to look for out of the ordinary changes. And yes, it seems like your friend is behaving in ways that aren't ordinary.

I have BPD, and whilst there are characteristics of BPD, BPD episodes are usually shorter lasting.. they come and go in waves. Don't quote me though. This is from my own lived experience.

I know you have reached out to their family member. It sounds like they are not really concerned so you have done your part.

As for responding to the email, what feels right for you? How I see it is:

1) If you respond, it may 'melt' them (if it is BPD) and the behaviour may change. If you respond, leave it open e.g. I've left it in the letterbox. I'm here if there's anything you want to talk about I feel there is a change in our relationship.

2) If you don't respond, it may look like further 'evidence' as to why they should stop talking to you.

And if it is a bipolar episode, then I'm thinking maybe those living closer or around her will be able to pick up on the things that aren't quite right, and act on it? What do you think? I don't know your situation, so feel free to take everything I've posted here, with a grain of salt.

Good morning, @ninja3 ,

I have bipolar tendencies.

The main advice I have is:

Offer your support, but leave it to her (give her agency) to take up what you offer. Unfortunately, there is not much you can do to compel her to seek or receive treatment unless she is a danger to herself, you or others (if this is the case, call 000/Psychiatric Triage in your area). This can be such a fine line, so use your judgement.

If you want to do more, use the principles of Mental Health First Aid:

A – Approach the person, assess and assist with any crisis
L – Listen and communicate non-judgementally
G – Give support and information
E – Encourage the person to get appropriate professional help
E – Encourage other supports

Remember, as you are not a professional, you cannot and should not do what a professional can.

Let us know how you go.

@tyme

Good luck!

Hey there @ninja3 and @Spirit_Healer ,

Hope you are all okay.

@Spirit_Healer , have you read, The Happiness Trap by Dr Russ Harris. This book helped me a look in my recovery.

I haven't @tyme , I have just Googled it and will see if I can get hold of a copy! My local library doesnt' have it even though it was published in 2007 - I'll put in a request and see if they can get it for me.

Totally worth while reading. Focusses on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy concepts. @Spirit_Healer