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Something’s not right

2nd psychosis?

GwynnSenior Contributor

2nd psychosis?

So I’ve had a really big year last year. I got a job for the year. It was fun but also stressful and I learned a whole lot and any time I took leave, or even just like the weekend, I just crashed a lot. I don't think I managed my health very well this year.

During my last lot of leave in October there was a family crisis where I didn't feel safe and since then I’ve really struggled to feel safe when I’m not completely by myself, which has which made the last part of my work more difficult than it needed to be. (Life isn't fair, is it?)

And it feels like everyone just wants everything to get back to normal but I just can’t. I just can’t, and it’s been hard to sleep and Christmas was incredibly stressful. I’m not sure if what I’m feeling is a normal reaction to prolonged stress or if this is like the prelude to another psychosis. I've forgotten all my early warning signs and I'm questioning if I'm falling into a mania.

I just don’t know, and because I don’t want to harm myself, I feel like the supports available are really limited. I want a real holiday with my friends, not a grippy socks holiday. I just don’t know and the not knowing adds to the big feelings. I just want to be by myself forever, that feels like the only way I’ll be safe.

Does anyone have any ideas? I'm trying to go back to fundamentals and do things that are low-stress but I've forgotten what they are. Also trying to apply to jobs to keep family happy.

7 replies

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In response to: 2nd psychosis?

BunniekinsSenior Contributor

Re: 2nd psychosis?

@Gwynn Gwynn when i fell into a psychosis i didnt realise it was happening. i thought it was normal that i could hear voices. my family except my mother thought i was being a difficult b1tch. when the delusions started i thought i was magical. if in doubt get yourself checked out. nothing worse than falling down that rabbit holexx

In response to: Re: 2nd psychosis?

GwynnSenior Contributor

Re: 2nd psychosis?

Thanks greenpea, I’ve got an appointment tomorrow. I think what I’m writing still makes sense, it’s not word salad.

In response to: Re: 2nd psychosis?

BunniekinsSenior Contributor

Re: 2nd psychosis?

@Gwynn yes it is definitely not word salad. hugs and hugs.

In response to: Re: 2nd psychosis?

BunniekinsSenior Contributor

Re: 2nd psychosis?

@Gwynn shit! you reminded me of something I did word salad today!!!! my pdoc is messing with my meds omfg!

In response to: Re: 2nd psychosis?

GwynnSenior Contributor

Re: 2nd psychosis?

If you’re tired a little incoherency is fine, I think a psychosis has lasting effects on language (but don’t quote me on this). If you’re worried about it though make sure to bring it up to your pdoc.

In response to: Re: 2nd psychosis?

Spirit_HealerSenior Contributor

Re: 2nd psychosis?

Good morning, @Gwynn and @Bunniekins

I have some additional ideas and reflections that might help.

I'll respond more throrougly during normal waking hours.

Stay posted.

In response to: 2nd psychosis?

Spirit_HealerSenior Contributor

Re: 2nd psychosis?

Hi @Gwynn , here are my thoughts:

Could you ask a close friend or loved one who has seen you during past episodes to remind you or work with you on a worksheet or template to flesh out your early warning signs? You could even go through the list and see if there are any that either of you think is currently an issue for you.

Stress, substance use and trauma can contribute to a prodrome, which then leads to full-blown psychosis. Life for me, post-first-episode, has been about trying to manage my stress as much as possible to prevent relapse. Unfortunately, life has a way of throwing curveballs at us, so we need what are called 'protective factors' to help us shield against the effects of high stress. My protective factors are things like: my social network, my routine, my sleep hygiene and my exercise habits. These protect and shield me from having another episode. Insight and self-awareness really help, too.

For your mood, you could try using a mood tracking app. I've found "How We Feel" to be really helpful, as this one allows you to link with trusted friends and share the journey (how much you want) together.

Let me know how you go!

@Bunniekins @tyme

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