Struggling to manage bipolar 2 and independent life

I suppose I've just come here because I didn't know what else to do. Calling the crisis team never gets me anywhere and the sane support line isn't open on the weekend. I honestly am just tired. I'm tired and exhausted from the weight of managing my own moods and irritability, totally unmedicated. My bipolar has ruined my relationship. My girlfriend left me. I'm becoming more and more quiet and self isolated because why get close to people when I unintentionally push them away. It seems when I was doing well and not willing to be medicated, that the medical professionals threw and endless array of medications my way, and now that I'm aware and willing I should be on medication, I'm struggling to find the support needed to achieve this. I'm on a very low income right now with no govt assistance anymore, my dr appointments aren't bulk billed and I can't afford the level of intervention I need anyway. I went to Medicare mental health centre and was offered a psychiatrist review on the 7th of January. Yet every second I spend in this state, the more uncomfortable, sad and irritable I become. I just want to live not survive every day. I'm having such a hard time accepting this will be my life forever. I don't want that. Sorry to vent, I'm just so lost and I don't have much support around me these days.