Depression and social anxiety

@Thunder Hi there, I’m really sorry to hear what you're going through. It seems like you found this online community for similar reasons to myself. I’ve struggled with social anxiety too, and it’s taken time to find the right connections. I know how tough it can feel when even small tasks seem overwhelming. I definitely recommend continuing to get out, even if just for small tasks, like checking the mailbox or going for a short walk. Every little step forward counts, and sometimes it helps to focus on progress, not perfection. You’re not alone in this, and things can improve with time and support.

Sorry to hear you've been through it too it's horrible. I do need to start taking small steps to get out of the house. I just can't handle people looking at me. It's not just social anxiety it's paranoia as well. Even going out the back I think the neighbours are watching me

hey @Thunder welcome to the forums!!

it really sucks you have to deal with this, i too have social anxiety and i can understand how overwhelming those feelings can be. like @Wesco5454 mentioned, those little steps like getting mail or even having a coffee on your front porch, etc., are a great place to start. with social anxiety, gaining exposure is one of the main ways of tackling those feelings. please do go easy on yourself though! it can take time and patience, so go with whatever flow you feel comfortable with. maybe a little challenge each day or week! when i started to push myself with going outdoors, i started going with my mum/sister, i'd use headphones, take a fidget toy and wear a face mask when going on walks - then slowly got comfortable and removed the mask, and now i'm pretty comfy going on walks alone (but i still keep the headphone for music).

also changing my self-talk was a big part of dealing with my social anxiety - i'm guessing when you walk by people, or near areas you might face people, you probably have a self-talk that thinks about the worst possible assumptions (i.e. that person thinks im weird, do i look okay, why'd that person look at me, is there something wrong with my outfit, etc) - changing that self talk to 'that person is busy thinking about themselves, and not judging me' helps a lot and takes some practice. so next time the negative self-talk pops into your head, try challenge it. so what if they looked at me? i guess i looked at them too if i noticed, and i'm not judging them, they're not judging me!

you're not alone here! i'm glad you're able to talk about those feelings here. sitting with you 💗

Thank you, that's a really good idea to think differently when I see someone looking at me. I think the social anxiety comes from the negative self talk and not being confident too. I wish I could flick a switch and not worry about what people think of me it's really holding me back

Hi there, I'm really sad to hear you're going through this. We're not alone in this struggle, there is help out there. Just do the best you can.

Hello @Thunder , @MVD86 , @Wesco5454

one step at a time my awesome friends

just letting you know that you are not alone

have you got furbabies ?

I like what you said @rav3n

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@Thunder wrote:

Thank you, that's a really good idea to think differently when I see someone looking at me. I think the social anxiety comes from the negative self talk and not being confident too. I wish I could flick a switch and not worry about what people think of me it's really holding me back

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i wish i had that lil switch too!! it is so exhausting having those thoughts in the back of our minds every time a social interaction/setting pops up. talking to a clinician really helped me start challenging those thoughts - it is tricky cos we've had these thoughts for ages, but it is very possible to change them. the thing is, a lot of the time people don't really 'think' of you or me. we 'think' they do because our brains have been wired to think in that way, but really, majority of the time people are thinking about themselves. and the other thing is people say 'who cares what others think?' and obviously i would say 'me, i care' but realistically... why do we care? someone might think i'm a horrible person, another might think i'm an amazing person. if i believe everything people 'think' of me, then i'd be a walking contradiction. instead we need to consider: what do i choose to think of myself? if i think i'm good, i'm going to start being the good stuff people think/say about me. but if i choose to believe i'm horrible, then i'll absorb all the bad stuff people think/say. the truth is, you KNOW who you are better than some stranger walking by. so would it be fair to let random people who've known you for seconds/minutes/hours/days dictate your worth when you've known yourself the longest (years/decades)?

a quote that i really like is 'to worry is to suffer twice' - when we assume that people will think of us negatively, we're already hurting ourselves with that thought pattern and preventing ourselves from opportunities/experiences. what if the opposite happened? what if others thought amazing things about us? guess we'll never know if we don't give it a chance, right?

anyways i just thought i'd share some of the thought processes that helped me get started in challenging my thoughts - i hope they can help you too. i know it's not something you can snap with your fingers and change. the fact that you're here and reaching out is already a massive step, i hope you're proud yourself for taking it.
take your time, and we're here for you as you work on your journey 💜

oh also - just wanted to let you know that if you want to reply to someone, you can tag them using the @ symbol and then typing the username like this: @Thunder that way the person tagged will be notified.

@rav3n heyyy sorry it's taken me so long to reply to you! Thank you so much. Your advice is very helpful. I've got to keep reminding myself that I am a good person and that's what I'm going to keep telling myself when I go out in public instead of worrying what people think of me,, like you said they are thinking of themselves and how can they even have an opinion of me when they haven't even talked to me or know anything about me.

Again thank you so much for your support 😊

@MVD86 thank you 😊 🙏