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Allerziet2011New Contributor
Hi, I'm seeking people who are going through or have been through divorce and separation and living under the same roof while it's happening. I have depression and anxiety that was being managed until my husband announced he wanted a divorce but still wished to remain friends. I cannot cope with this. Don't know how to "be" in my own house anymore.
In response to: Divorce and separation
FriendlyflutterSenior Contributor
Hi @Allerziet2011
I am sorry to hear you are going through this. I cannot even imagine how hard it must be for you to live in the same house while trying to cope with this. More strength to you.
We hope that you find the forums a great place to connect with other members, share stories and ideas, and find the support and connection you deserve.
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In response to: Divorce and separation
SquibblybitsCasual Contributor
Hi @Allerziet2011
I can't imagine how heartbreaking that must be for you. I would implore you to reinforce your emotional supports while you have the insight before it gets too much too soon. I shared a home with my parents this year while they divorced and I know it meant alot to them. I don't know your situation but this is my thoughts.
In response to: Re: Divorce and separation
tymeModerator
Thank you for sharing @Squibblybits . That's so powerful to hear it from your perspective. I'm glad your parents were grateful. Hope it all worked out for them.
In response to: Divorce and separation
ZhoujivNew Contributor
I've been separated from my wife for nearly 2 years (married 24 years) but living under the same roof. I actually live in a granny flat under the house. I am no longer able to manage my thoughts or emotions when or if I do go upstairs now so the only time I do this is when I put the kids to bed, even then it is very hard. I struggle with depression and anxiety as well and have been diagnosed as an adult with both ADHD and ASD. My family is all overseas and I have few friends.
Right now, I am at a stage whereby it is looking more and more like we are heading for divorce. I have tried my hardest to communicate and be open and honest but am not getting the same in return. The person I married 24 years ago, is not the person I am married to now. I know people change over time, but the change I am speaking of is of a nature whereby I truly do not know the person she has become.
If I can offer you any advice, it would be to;
1. Set boundaries and enforce them. If you are having trouble being "friends", for the sake of it, you don't have to follow that path. You need to do what is right for you and if you're relationship is truly over, your ex-partners needs aren't a concern for you anymore.
2. Privacy. While sharing the same home, you need to make sure that your ex partner respects your private safe areas and does not intrude. You need a space where you can feel safe in your own home.
3. Self care. Go for walks, walk around the shops, coffee or just chat with friends. Be kind to yourself, you are worthy of love and acceptance and it starts with giving that to yourself.
4. Feel your emotions. It's ok to cry, it's ok to be sad, it's ok to be angry, it's ok to be. Feel what you are feeling and afterwards, reflect.
I hope that helps in some way and I wish you the best. This is tough, but you aren't alone, and neither am I. Thank you for sharing and listening 🙂
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Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
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