Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

47,612Members
1,358,869Posts
1,400,000Visitors

DID intermingled relationships

MoonlitmayhemCasual Contributor20 Nov 2024, 9:36 pm AEDT

DID intermingled relationships

[name removed]

I am the host of a DID System of 5. We have been in a relationship with a woman for almost 2 years and the other members have been dormant over the course of this year. That's pretty typical for our particular system, but it's the first time so many of us have been needed by someone outside of our system. We usually have an easier time being out when we have been smoking weed, but as a university student I have been prioritising my studies, deadlines and other immediate concerns as opposed to "falling back" and losing track of time. The system don't understand that our mutual partner feels abandoned because they're not around at the moment, and our partner feels like they're using her. That's not the case at all but I can understand if they're not around for her why she might feel that way. Does anyone have any experience with anything like this? I don't know how to support her, they won't respond unless they're co-fronting. Any advice would be super appreciated. Our partner feels like a fool and it's really affecting her mental health.

Kindest regards,

[name removed] of the Mayhem System

2 replies

1 - 2 of 2

In response to: DID intermingled relationships

tymeModerator20 Nov 2024, 9:42 pm AEDT

Re: DID intermingled relationships

Thanks for sharing @Moonlitmayhem

To protect your anonymity, I have removed the names from your post.

Besides that, I can see that you have been thinking about this a lot.

Have you tried speaking to your partner and explaining what's happening so that they don't jump to conclusions about why you are not with them all the time?

In response to: Re: DID intermingled relationships

MoonlitmayhemCasual Contributor20 Nov 2024, 11:32 pm AEDT

Re: DID intermingled relationships

it's difficult to tell, so much of what we feel is intention over actual realisation. There is a sense of personal awareness, while still experiencing the severity of dissociative disorder which prevents us from having a detailed sense of time passing in a way that, especially during periods of time where I, as the host, am going through peak periods of focus and control, it feels like I can't reach them, so I have so much compassion for our partner, but it's complex. There is no ill intention, it's just not the same as having a relationship with separate people, because their reality isn't the same as our reality.

1 - 2 of 2