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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Seeking advice for diagnosing Dissociative Identity Disorder

Seeking advice for diagnosing Dissociative Identity Disorder

I think I have D.I.D but I don't know how to tell my doctors because my "parts" or "alters" won't "let" me. its almost like my brain shuts off the second I start to talk about what's happening and I immediately dissociate. sometimes the dissociation is so much that it will even stop me from speaking the words of what's happening (like my voice cuts off) and even as I write this forum post everything is getting blurry and I'm feeling all cloudy. I guess my question is how do you tell someone that everything you knew is a lie whilst your brain actively tries to take away your reality and replace it with something different.

The amnesiac gaps are getting bigger lately and I'm getting scared because I don't even have an ability to track them anymore (my schedule is completely self administered, there's no active "force" that requires a consistent mask and so there's no consistent memory as a result)

8 replies

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In response to: Seeking advice for diagnosing Dissociative Identity Disorder

Re: Seeking advice for diagnosing Dissociative Identity Disorder

Hi @Mooshi

I just wanted to send you a quick welcome message, and thank you for sharing. I wish I had some info to help you out here, but sadly that's out of my depth. I'm sure one of our members will be along shortly to provide you some useful information 🙂

In response to: Seeking advice for diagnosing Dissociative Identity Disorder

Re: Seeking advice for diagnosing Dissociative Identity Disorder

Hi @Mooshi and welcome to the forums

This is a really hard position to be in, I'm glad that you've been able to share some of it here.

I'm wondering if writing it to your doctors could be an option? Either via an email or a note that you bring with you. Would this be something that might make this more possible to express to what's happening for you?

Have you ever had other times when you've been able to tell anyone what you're going through? If so perhaps you could have a loved one come with you to your appointment in case you get stuck

In response to: Seeking advice for diagnosing Dissociative Identity Disorder

Re: Seeking advice for diagnosing Dissociative Identity Disorder

Hi Mooshi,

I want to write to you. DID is scary, I've never had it, but I've lived as a polarised system of emotions in the past, so I can remember what it was like to feel things so intensely, yet not be able to express them, as if someone else had a hold over my tongue. Or when memories are forgotten at times where we needed them, and it feels violating. It's super scary.

I want to share that, even if it seems like I'm being a hope merchant, a truth I've found is all emotions / alters / parts of us, no matter how angry or distrustful we are, all come from the same place of wanting ourselves to feel loved and at peace. We never are working against ourselves, remind ourselves of this constantly! even if it feels like we might be fighting inside our own head, it is only evidence of how poorly the world has taken care of us. - Whatever alter / part we are in, be patient and try to meet our needs. And if another part / alter doesn't want to talk to a doctor about getting a diagnosis, that might be because another need of ours is being threatened if we tried to do that.


An idea, perhaps try see a new doctor, one you've never seen before, who could be left incase something goes wrong. That way nothing is risked with the relationship to you're current doctor.


I hope this lands home, Powder <3.

In response to: Seeking advice for diagnosing Dissociative Identity Disorder

Re: Seeking advice for diagnosing Dissociative Identity Disorder

I think just screenshot this post you made and send it to your doctor. Might make the doctor able to test stuff out to help you. I'm sorry I'm ranting because I'm scared and stressed at the moment also.

In response to: Re: Seeking advice for diagnosing Dissociative Identity Disorder

Re: Seeking advice for diagnosing Dissociative Identity Disorder

thank you so much, i think writing out a letter with my partner could be a good way to do it. They know about the system and have met other alters before so they could definitely help me write out something

In response to: Re: Seeking advice for diagnosing Dissociative Identity Disorder

Re: Seeking advice for diagnosing Dissociative Identity Disorder

I just wanted to say thank you, sometimes hearing anotehr perspective is really helpful for us. There's definetly parts that are scared to tell a health professional - I think it stems from being gaslight from our mum as a kid about our mental health. I'm currently looking for a new dr and psychiatrist anyway so perhaps going to someone without strings attached might be a good way to go about it or even act as exposure therapy

In response to: Re: Seeking advice for diagnosing Dissociative Identity Disorder

Re: Seeking advice for diagnosing Dissociative Identity Disorder

i didnt even think about that. that's genuinely such a good idea. thank you so much.

In response to: Seeking advice for diagnosing Dissociative Identity Disorder

Re: Seeking advice for diagnosing Dissociative Identity Disorder

Dear @Mooshi ,

Thanks for your share and I can relate to what you're describing. I do have a diagnosis of DID but for a long time I didn't think so and I would experience the same shutting down and dissociation for it that you're describing. I think no matter where you are or whether the diagnosis is correct for you, the correct answer will emerge the more you explore this.

Sorting this out with a counselor or therapist could be helpful and taking your time that you need to process it. Your parts and alters aren't going anywhere, and you've survived this long without a diagnosis, so it is safe to let this exploration process of discovering whether this diagnosis fits and is helpful for you can be just that -- a process.

DID also can be on a spectrum in the sense that everyone has "parts" or "alters" but not everyone has the degree of dissociation/fragmentation that leads to DID. So in that sense no matter what, your experience is not invalid.

Take care and best wishes,

@GalacticRose

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