Nightmares

I haven't posted in a while. 2016 was a year that started going downhill, but ended up being really good. Halfway through the year I asked to be admitted to a mental health clinic as I had reached my just about rock bottom. It was the best thing I have done for myself in many years. My official diagnosis is 'Major Depressive Disorder with Agitation and Melancholy'. I spent three weeks in the clinic, and for the first time, participated in group therapy, which seemed to just click with me. I then did a two week CBT course, which was great, and then a month or so later, began a 12 week (one night a week) condensed DBT program (Dialectical Behaviour Therapy). It has been the most valuable program I have ever been on. After 16 years with on and off depression, I find myself in the best place I can be, with a more positive outlook and some much improved coping strategies, which I have actually been able to use!

There is just one thing that I can't break through - nightmares. Mine are not flashbacks (like my husband who has PTSD), but can be intense, involved and I often ended up shouting or screaming in my sleep. There is a theme to the dreams (helplessness/ being powerless). Neither the DBT or CBT program addressed this. I understand that the dreams are just my brains trying to sort through stuff, but they leave me in a complete fog. I call them dream hangovers.

The day after the nightmare, I struggle. It feels like I am surrounded by a thick fog, and I am simply unable to connect to anything. I am genuinely zombie-like. I know it is partly because of the disturbed sleep. My brain feels like it is working in slow motion, it takes me a while to process anything and I often miss parts of a conversation, or am slow to respond to others. Sometimes, like this week, I end up skipping work, because I just simply can't.

I have been through my notes and handbooks and cannot find anything that deals specifically with nightmares. I realise it is just my brain doing filing, and it is linked to emotional regulation, but I need to learn how to break through the fog, the nightmare hangovers.

I would appreciate any comments or suggestions you may have.