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Managing relationships

Assistance please

Assistance please

Hi

I'm back again. This time with an update of our short holiday.

Back story: when his Mum passed away, I refused to take over her role of keeping my partners side of the family talking to one another.

On our recent trip interstate, he would belittle me by saying that I'm slow, can't do more than one thing at a time, was spoken down to when he said that he has thought about Christmas and that I haven't.

When we would walk anywhere he would always walk away on his own. When I wanted to sit next to him on the bus he said, 'what does it matter if we don't sit together'. Then at a Christmas party the other night he was 'weird' to me in front of his best mate. He told me to go get something to eat and so I did. When I came back I heard the end of the conversation between the two of them with my partner saying that he wants to go to Sydney. His mate just looked at me for a while. I'm too scared to ask what it all means. The reason I'm worried is because he has written notes to himself that when his Mum died he would do whatever.

6 replies

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In response to: Assistance please

Re: Assistance please

It feels like he either has issues within himself OR he is deliberately being mean so that I'm the one that breaks up with him.

In response to: Assistance please

Re: Assistance please

May I ask what keeps you holding onto the relationship?

In response to: Re: Assistance please

Re: Assistance please

Because sometimes it's OK and his moods are largely determined by his PTSD so I put most of it down to that.

In response to: Re: Assistance please

Re: Assistance please

And I feel that because I gave him space (not really talking with him and doing the housework and going to work) since July to October, that I may have contributed to some of this. I've been frustrated as well which could be self-inflicted.

In response to: Re: Assistance please

Re: Assistance please

@Carebear it can be natural to turn the blame - or at least some of it - onto ourselves, but in a relationship there is no valid reason to belittle or put down a partner. That behaviour isn't okay and isn't a reflection on you.

I'm hearing that you've extended a lot of compassion and empathy towards him because of what he has been through. Is your partner receiving any support for this, or making any steps to get support in managing his symptoms?

P.S. A helpful tip, to make sure that others are notified when you reply to them you can tag them by typing "@" and then a list of suggested members will pop up. Click on the one you'd like to tag and then they'll appear in blue like @Carebear @MMouse

In response to: Assistance please

Re: Assistance please

Hi @Carebear ( @Ru-bee @MMouse ). I'd suggest having a conversation with him about his plans and about the nasty things he says about you - that's if you're planning to stay with him.

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