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CarloSenior Contributor
I have had some surgery this year, and my partner left me (wouldn't pick me up from the hospital or care for me post surgery). It was sad for me.
She now had surgery and I became the full-time carer for her. At the end of almost 2 months of caring, and now that she is relatively fine, she has asked me to leave.
Am I just an idiot? Why do I keep doing this to myself?
In response to: Here we go again
JynxModerator
Hey @Carlo I'm really sorry to hear that you've been treated this way. I want to just say that desiring connection, believing people are inherently good, and wanting to support someone you care about (even if they have not returned the effort) are all really good qualities, and completely human.
This does not make you an idiot, it means that you have been taken advantage of. You couldn't have known she would ask you to leave, I imagine at the time you were just happy to have her back in your life!!
Regardless, you do deserve better 💜
In response to: Here we go again
MJG017Senior Contributor
Hi @Carlo, Ive had quite a few treatments in hospital the past couple of months and I dont know how I could have gotten through without my partner's support likewise, I have been there for her when she has been in hospital in the past.
Its called a pernership for a reason, ans your partner only seems to want you around when she needs it... based on what you've written.
You ask, why do you keep doing this? I cant tell you that, but it certainly sounds like a very one sided relationship to me. So one sided, i wouldnt even call it a relationship. Do you think you stay with her out of a fear of then being alone? Some people will put up with a lot of neglect/abuse because they tell themselves its better than being alone The truth is its not, and I think yiu realise this and is why you're asking this question.
I don't know any more about your situation other that what you've written, but it certainly doesnt sound like there's much respect for your feelings here. You deserve soneone who will give you that, and you wont be happy with someone who doesnt love and care for you as you do for them.
I cant tell you what to do, but I honestly think that you have to think about how happy you are in this relationship, and how much you deserve better. Sometimes low self confidence and esteem can make us put up with things we know are bad for us, but that fear of being alone keeps us from doing what we know what we should do. Whatever you decide, make the decision based on what you want and deserve, not what you fear.
In response to: Re: Here we go again
CarloSenior Contributor
In response to: Re: Here we go again
CarloSenior Contributor
Thank you @Jynx
It's a hard reality to accept.
It's been over 30 years and I keep living in hope. But I need to accept the reality of my situation and practice a little self-care.
I'm alone and isolated.
Life will get better (I hope)
In response to: Re: Here we go again
MJG017Senior Contributor
You're welcome @Carlo.
I know its difficult right now, but take some comfort in the fact you did everything humanly possible to make things work. So try not to look back, and instead look forward. You're now free to find someone who will treat you with the love and respect that you deserve.
In response to: Re: Here we go again
8ppleTreeSenior Contributor
@Carlo
I'm sorry to hear that things didn't work out as you'd hoped.
@MJG017 Put it in words beautifully. You did everything you could. You are now free to find your own happiness.
If you are alone or isolated, there are mensheds, local community centres, online groups etc you may want to visit? Re-explore some hobbies?
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