StaroflifeCasual Contributor
Help for children of BPD parents
Hello,
This is my first post here on this forum. I apologise if some of what I am writing is not allowed or political correct. I am not aware of the correct terminology but just need advice please. I am reaching out because I am out of solutions to help my daughter cope with her BPD father. We are separated two years, and I am the focus of his attention still. The doctor has prescribed him medication for depression, which has been increased over the last few years. He was seeing a mens group and counselling for his anger, but he now refuses to attend that anymore.
Our daughter sees him two afternoons a week after he gets home from work/after school. She is in year 5. He regularly expresses comments about how he is unloved, he has no friends, he wishes he could end it all, he is moving overseas and cutting off everyone (including her). He doesn't eat for days to prove his point that nobody loves him. He manufactures situations to push people away, and then blames that person for leaving him. He has older children who has completely disowned. He does take medication but has shunned further treatment or counselling sessions. If I go away for the weekend, he spirals until we return. If I go away for a week, I receive self-harm correspondence from him. He is working, but cannot manage his own money or personal admin/paperwork. I still do this.
She and I were previously in trauma counselling, but the funding for that has ended. We are on waiting lists via the doctor referrals and with other charitable counselling spaces. She loves her father but also doesn't want to see him because of the constant guilt. But then feels guilty if she doesn't see him. I have borne the brunt of his anger and depression for 15 years, but I still feel empathy for his situation, however she is my priority. How do other parents in this situation help their children please?
