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Panic attacks on nights out

RainbowzebraContributor28 Sept 2024, 6:06 pm AEST

Panic attacks on nights out

I rarely go 'out out' anymore as I'm getting too old for being out past my bedtime but maybe once or twice a year still. Went for some cocktails with friends last night and it turned into an impromptu night out. I like going to the gay clubs because I feel safer and a lot of my friends are gay anyway. Unfortunately I misjudged how strong the cocktails were and got far drunker than I intended (I'm still paying the price) The point to this story is the bouncers quietly removed me from the club for being too intoxicated, I wasn't doing anything wrong but I guess that is their policy. I didn't realise what was happening to start with, but when I did the fight/flight kicked in hard, because they had gently separated me from my friends and once I realised I started having a panic attack as i guess I felt like I was in danger. They were great and went to get my friends for me and stayed with me outside until they were collected but by this point I was clinging to the female bouncer hyperventilating and begging her not to leave me. Once my friends arrived I was crying and shaking and struggling to breathe. I am a little proud of myself because somewhere in my drunken brain I managed to tell myself that I was having a panic attack and slow my breathing down to calm down which worked.

It did shock me though how quickly I went from happy to terrified, and I was in no real danger, the staff would never have left me unattended on the street (another reason I like a gay bar) but I genuinely felt deeply terrified something would happen and aside from my horrendous hangover I still feel pretty raw from the experience. Been a while since I had a panic attack and I guess being intoxicated made it feel even worse.

Anybody else have this experience? Needless to say I won't be going out drinking again for the foreseeable future.

4 replies

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In response to: Panic attacks on nights out

Cleo2Senior Contributor28 Sept 2024, 6:42 pm AEST

Re: Panic attacks on nights out

Hi @Rainbowzebra I don't drink often. But when I do drink I try to keep it to one drink. The last time I drank a lot I did a lot of crazy things which I am too embarrassed to mention on here, and then I wandered the streets alone thinking about how to suicide myself that night. I went to hospital, was not far from the bathroom all next day and even had the shakes. After scaring myself I decided to limit my drinking permanently.

I like going to gay bars sometimes (both sorts), but I don't feel safe anywhere because I am afraid that I am going to inadvertently start a relationship when I don't think I'm ready for one or deserve one. Still I like to have a dance now and then.

In response to: Panic attacks on nights out

leafylady666Contributor29 Sept 2024, 12:36 am AEST

Re: Panic attacks on nights out

Hi @Rainbowzebra,

Oh boy, sounds like you went thru the ringer!
I am glad to hear the bouncers showed you kindness and weren’t callous in your time of need, and were able to fetch your friends to help you thru your panic attack.

Here’s the thing with alcohol and MI - it’s all going well and fun… until it suddenly isn’t, and you find yourself in a corner of a club contemplating dark thoughts and freaking out because you realise you can’t just be carefree and drunk like everyone else.

It took a long time for me to learn to be in a safe place with alcohol. It’s hard, because you often feel already vulnerable because your anxiety is eating away at you… so you drink more to shut it up. And for a while it’s great, you’re sociable and outgoing - but I find whilst alcohol can shut up my anxious self talk, it also opens the floodgates for the other intrusive and sinister thoughts to appear.

It is really a tricky balance - as so much of our culture is having a drink or few and going to a club.

Being surrounded by friends who know you and can keep an eye on you is always good - but personally, I try to limit my alcohol intake when I know I’m not in the greatest frame of mind.

One thing I always ask myself - am I drinking to enjoy the drink, or am I drinking to control an emotion?

Hope you heal up from the hangover! Remember to hydrate ♥️

In response to: Re: Panic attacks on nights out

RainbowzebraContributor30 Sept 2024, 12:27 am AEST

Re: Panic attacks on nights out

Honestly having a dance is the only reason to go out right 😉 yeah I have scared myself for sure. I never ever let myself get that drunk I usually stop once I feel that warm buzz so that these things don't happen and I can stay in control. Im blaming the cocktails for tricking me. I'm still feeling triggered from the situation and have no intention of going out again for the foreseeable future.

In response to: Re: Panic attacks on nights out

RainbowzebraContributor30 Sept 2024, 12:32 am AEST

Re: Panic attacks on nights out

Thanks for the kind words, I'm normally so careful so this sort of thing doesn't happen and now I'm kicking myself. It has taken 48 hours to get over my hangover but emotionally I'm still feeling pretty raw. Everything you say is so true and the other thing I always forget is drinking and meds don't go together and you can be sober 1 minute and smashed the next. Safe to say I won't be drinking again anytime soon.

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