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Sudden separation with no clarity

NeedmorecatsCasual Contributor28 Sept 2024, 4:55 pm AEST

Sudden separation with no clarity

My husband and I have been together for 12 years since we were in uni and married 2ish. Relationship wasnt perfect but we had a lot of love and communication and we tried to work through our issues (at least I thought so).

4 weeks ago we had an argument where I asked for some time and regroup in a week (probably mistake number 1). He messaged tha he has thought about next steps and would like to talk but when he showed up, he announced he was leaving me and will confirm this by text. Then him and his family packed up his belongings, left and blocked me on all forms of communication.

This has triggered severed depression and some moderate form of anxiety where the doctor has prescribed medication and a mental health care plan. I have never been medicated or spoken to a professional and it feels like it's getting worse.

I am reading all the self help books and resources as well as trying CBT by myself but I am finding it challenging as I have no clarity on why or control over the situation.

How do people manage ongoing anxiety symptoms? I don't want to keep letting it impact my day to day life.

3 replies

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In response to: Sudden separation with no clarity

Cleo2Senior Contributor28 Sept 2024, 5:35 pm AEST

Re: Sudden separation with no clarity

@Needmorecats I am sorry to hear that he ghosted you when he ended the relationship. That sounds like a strange thing to do? But I don't know the whole situation. I hope you have people around you to talk to about this so that you can get some closure.

In response to: Sudden separation with no clarity

Cleo2Senior Contributor28 Sept 2024, 6:02 pm AEST

Re: Sudden separation with no clarity

I've had anxiety for about 20 years now. Anxiety management for me can include:

Talking about my problems to others, but not too much so that I get more anxious.

Watching YouTube videos about rescue cats for distraction (TinyKittensHQ, Girl With The Dogs 2, GeoBeats Animals, The Cat Chronicles, The Dodo).

Listening to ASMR videos (GentleWhispering ASMR) or any kind of relaxation music.

Short meditations on mindfulness (Less than 10 minutes. See the SmilingMind App for free short mindfulness meditations).

Like you, I also read self-help books recommended by my psychologist.

Wearing warm comfortable clothes.

Drinking a chamomile tea.

Going for a walk.

Using lavender oil for scent.

Hope this helps. Take care.

In response to: Re: Sudden separation with no clarity

NeedmorecatsCasual Contributor28 Sept 2024, 6:50 pm AEST

Re: Sudden separation with no clarity

Thank you @Cleo2. I don't either and I think the lack of clarity makes me blame myself and is exasperating my anxiety. I will try the meditation app. Thank you for the suggestion.

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