Bad therapist?

Hi @Lovelylunatick

Welcome to the forums!

Finding the right match for a therapist can be an exhausting process. I think deep down you will know if they are a good match for you. Sometimes there is a need to be challenged, and sometimes you may feel worse for a period as part of the therapeutic process.... but if you consistently feel bad, and don't feel like progress is being made, then your gut might be telling you it's not a good match.

It'll be interesting to hear what experiences our members have had, that might be similar to yours.

Hi @Lovelylunatick

Sorry to hear you've been having flashbacks. I hope you have people and supportive things in place for yourself right now? 🩵

Firstly I want to congratulate you on your healing work that you're doing. You are stepping up for yourself. And you're questioning your boundaries now, and your emotional safety, looking to protect yourself in a healthy way, so that seems pretty good to me.

Secondly, there can be an awful knee jerk reaction to hearing words that have been pathologised, like obsessive, but it doesn't mean you're broken. Trauma by its very nature can create heightened patterns of pain, so being able to separate the pain response from who you are is a person is really important, in my opinion.

Saying that, trust is really important when working with anyone. If you feel like like your therapist is eroding your confidence, or not listening to your boundaries, then that is something different. Being able to talk with them about their use of language and what they mean by their terms is hopefully something where both people feel confident to express themselves, and can explain what they mean. You have a right to ask. It might not be a bad thing to let them know that you're dealing with some triggers. You sound really self-aware, and I think @tacocat gave the best advice which was 'trust yourself'. You deserve to feel peace and healing in your life. It's ok to step back if you're not feeling it.

Hi @Lovelylunatick, welcome to the forum.

I've only had experience with therapists for about a year. I've come to learn of that little bit of experience that some just don't help. My last one told told me something that caught me of guard as well, followed by a 2nd thing and I just decided that I didn't see any point in returning. Being called 'obsessive' about something like what you've been through would be more than enough to have me thinking the same thing. I think it's incredibly dismissive and unhelpful. If she's just giving you doubts about your own feelings then it sounds like time for a 2nd opinion.

I left my last appointment where I decided I couldn't go back feeling like maybe what she told me was right and I felt completely lost and hopeless. I started mentioning what was said to a few people and they were just as surprised as I was. After a month I say a new psychologist a couple of weeks ago and it came up about why I left my last therapist and I mentioned what was said and he had the same look on his face that everyone else did when I told them. It was very validating to know my doubts were correct and I feel much more confident about getting some help with this new psychologist.

Hi @Lovelylunatick,

Welcome to the Forum and thank you very much for sharing. I hope that you find it to be a supportive and caring community.

I'm sorry to see that you're going through a difficult time right now.

I'm also sorry that you're finding your therapist isn't the right fit for you, feeling worse after each session isn't a good sign.

Are you able to look for another therapist? Sometimes it takes time and a bit of trial and error to find the person that's right for us.

Good luck with everything, and I hope that you can find the support that you need.

Hope to hear from you soon, take care.

I am new on here too and new to needing any mental health services in general. I had my first ever psychologist appointment last week and felt like I got so much worse after.

I don't know if it's because I have to relive my trigger event to a stranger or when I told her I want to learn to cope and she told me I was already coping.

I have now booked a new psychologist next week to see if there's any difference.

Honestly, i'm giving up on our entire system, going to have to heal myself i think.

I'm really sorry to hear you had to go through that. I know first hand what that's like. Its not fair. I have no idea how they have it in their heads that they're helping when they let us leave after something like that. my lady would say that coping line to me all the time. I got branded with MH really young, I don't think they realise our psychological stability is in their hands in sessions like that. I hope your next one's better. @Needmorecats

I'm pretty much on my own to be honest. It sent me through a spiral and i haven't quite bounced back yet. I went to the hospital for some physical things, but I was branded with mental health and drug addiction from my parents to the hospitals very young, so anything physical also gets dismissed. I'm really just trying to get through each day at the moment. I haven't drank in six weeks either, and i think ive managed to push my boyfriend away because I was in psychosis (due to physical health, it's never been a mental illness symptom i've had in my life and I'm nearly 27. I have an appointment booked with the TAFE counsellor, hopefully that helps. Otherwise, i'm trying to focus on spiritual, and make some art and hope for the best I guess, never been so depressed. not very sure where to go from here quite frankly, thank you very much for the kind words. all of you people, i appreciate it heaps.

Hi @Lovelylunatick

(Just a quick forum tip - if you write @ and then select the person's name from the dropdown box that appears, they will then be notified that you have replied on the thread, ie ie @defaultusername @tacocat @MJG017 @Needmorecats).

Good to hear that you're doing things for yourself like making appointments, making art and looking after your body, despite the challenges you face with some of the professional services. Keep trusting yourself! It's not easy dealing with the stigma or labels that can be put onto patients/people and then trying to sort out the body and the mind and having to advocate for yourself when you don't feel well.

Hoping the appointment with the counsellor will go well for you too! What sort of art do you do?

Hi @Lovelylunatick I really hope you find the counselor helpful. Feel free to let us know how you get on or if you want to talk about anything. A few people here have said they do some art to help them through. Of course this means we now expect some photos of what you create 🙂 Take good care of yourself and hopefully you'll be feeling a bit more on top of things soon. The best of luck to you.

I'm sorry to hear that it's been hard to bounce back from @Lovelylunatick, and I'm also sorry that you've been pigeonholed like that. It's a horrible feeling when people assume they know everything about us due to potential alcohol and/or other drug use.

Congratulations on not drinking for 6 weeks, you should be very proud of yourself!! 🎉

I'm sorry to see that things are a bit difficult for you and your boyfriend right now, I hope things can improve for the both of you…

That's really good you have an upcoming counselling appointment with a TAFE counsellor, I hope it goes well for you and that you find the support that you need.

That's great that you're tapping into your creativity — I wish I made more time for arts and crafts, as it's so satisfying and relaxing whenever I have in the past. Especially watching my niece colour in, it reminds me of how much fun it can be.

Looking forward to hearing from you.