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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Betrayal

Betrayal

I'm 60 on Sunday. I've had a rough trot lately. My brother says I betrayed him (I think he's betrayed himself) he has a massive ego and has left me for dead. My coercively controlling partner of 18 years has been exposed for what he is and is gone. (He still controls the money and ghosts me and has blocked me trying to sell our house.) He leaves me with the teenager when it suits him which is 11 days out of 14. He's a great kid (16 almost), but I do all the parenting and supporting. My long time friend has been really nasty to me so I've released her from my life. I have chronic pain (fibromyalgia) thanks to the abuse by my ex and probably chronic fatigue syndrome. What the heck is going on. I'm so angry people are so horrid. I'm studying and anxious about supporting myself and my son in the future. I suspect all three people I have mentioned have very strong narcissistic traits. I may be autistic so I'm sensitive and have high standards. I'm morbidly depressed about people a nd their behaviour. I'm confused, lonely and keep second guessing myself. I really am miffed as to how my life has turned out. I'm isolated in the country too. Just reaching out.

3 replies

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In response to: Betrayal

Re: Betrayal

Hi @Miffed

Sorry to hear you're going through such a rough time. I'm sure our members will be more than welcoming to you, and provide you the support you need to start moving forward.

Thanks for sharing, and welcome to the forums.

In response to: Betrayal

Re: Betrayal

Welcome to the forum @Miffed, and well done for reaching out, most of us don't find it very easy.

I think considering your experiences, it would be easy for anyone to lose all trust and respect for everyone else. It's important to remember that not everyone will treat you like this and that anger, while totally understandable, can get in the way of kinder people helping you. Even the loneliness and self doubt can get in the way. I know this from personal experience because I used to shut everyone out and just keep to myself because I had no trust in anyone. Im not saying any of this is your fault, or that you are doing anything wrong, just that it's so easy to fall into such a deep, depressive hold that we can start to become our own worst enemies.

For me, it was talking to people who were actually understanding and supportive that allowed me to start to get some trust in people again and this allowed me to start opening up and talking to people and getting some much needed support in my life. So I think you've made a great start to reach out here and hopefully you can start to feel there are people who care and want to help and support you. For your own well being and so that you can continue to be the best mother to your son that you can.

Be kind to yourself and save the anger and mistrust for those that deserve it, or even better, just release them all from you life... as much as possible anyway I know it's hard to do with family, but you can't control what sort of people they are so just leave them to their own misery and focus on yourself and your son.

Happy birthday for Sunday.🎂 Use it as an excuse to treat yourself and take a break from everything and make it a great day for yourself.

In response to: Betrayal

Re: Betrayal

Being emotionally violated like you have been is awful. It breaks your soul. I know because it's happened to mum and I. The last few years my brother has been hinting at getting access to part of his inheritance to pay off his mortgage. We said no, and consequently we never see or hear from the kids and we rarely hear from him. He's virtually estranged himself. My counselor identified that he had narcissistic traits. They use what people can provide them. They don't have relationships like the rest of us do. I suspect that is what's happened to you. All I can say is that it's not your fault. These people are schemers and never take responsibility for the damage they cause to others.

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