how does anyone mange to negotiate each day when you find triggers everywhere you go

@MlwI wish I had better advice for you. But my way of getting through it was just to avoid people as much as possible until I could get back to the relative safety of home and being by myself. So not the best solution. I did keep reminding myself when someone was cruel, unfair, critical, or anything like that to me. I did try to make myself think about how unimportant their opinions of me should be because they were obviously horrible people for doing it. It helps a little I guess, but it still always hurt.

Now, I just try to still avoid people like that but also try to be around far more supportive people. The positive feedback from people, or even just being friendly decent human beings helps to remind me that i'm not the problem. So thats what I've been trying to do that past year or so. I've found it helps build up a bit more resistance to deal with those triggers.

Sorry I don't have anything more to offer you.

hey @Mlw these are such good questions!

---

i wondering how everyone else manages to get through each day, and keep going when triggers present in no particular manner?

---

when i get randomly triggered i try to enforce my self-care routine immediately, i take a break and try to remind myself that i'm not in real danger even though my body is reacting. i like to journal and label my emotions, identify why i'm feel a certain way - this helps me process it better. i then do some sort of physical activity (dancing in my room at 2am, or going for a walk or gym, etc) just to physically release the stress from my body.

or how you deal with personal insults around your quiet, mono tone?

---

i try to remember that 1. my thoughts are NOT facts. 2. the more negative words i feed to myself, the more negative i feel so i work on feeding positive words and focusing on my small wins and strengths. 3. treat myself like i'd treat a friend. if my friend was saying negative things about herself, i'd immediately tell her everything i love about her and do something nice for her so i try to treat myself the same. we spend majority of our life with just ourselves, so prioritising a good and kind relationship with ourselves is definitely worth it. i will say that i struggle with this a lot too, it takes a lot of time and effort to convince that voice to be kind, but i am seeing a lot of progress 🙂

---

or how you deal with judgements and high opinions of others?

---

if they don't know the real me, how can they speak honestly about me? - that's what i ask myself. in my personal experience, people have only judged/given high opinions of me to either help me improve or to put me down. if they put me down, i take that has a reflection of the poor character, they must be hurting themselves if they are low enough to bring me down.

or constantly made feel at fault or bullied by those in places of power?

---

i'd definitely set boundaries and distance myself from people who bring me down. if i have the energy, i'd try to call out those people and explain to them how their words/actions make me feel. if that's not a safe option, i'd work on avoiding them and spending my time around people who value me and treat me kindly.

this is just my insight into things, obviously its different for everyone but i thought i'd share my perspective to give you some ideas! i'm so sorry you've had to deal with all those feelings, no deserve to be treated in a way that makes them feel small. you deserve kindness 💗

@Mlw Such good questions. I struggle with similar issues in my workplace. I have come to realise that I do not have anything to prove to others. I conduct myself with integrity and, despite my quiet shy disposition, I have a good reputation with the majority of people. The other people that want to bring me down, bully me, be disrespectful, insulting, any of those things, are going to continue doing that no matter what I say or do. So I ignore them. I remind myself that their comments and behaviour are not a true reflection of me. It is their warped opinion based on whatever is going on inside their head, and not reality.

@rav3n Those are really good suggestions. I will definitely try to take some of that on board when responding to situations with others.

I really enjoyed your insights, thank you.

I have been chipping away at things in a similar way.

Great to know I am not alone.