Rejection by kids after domestic violence

I'm sorry sorry @john74, it must be so difficult not to be able to have contact with your kids. It cant make this time of year with Fathers' Day looming much fun.

I guess the only thing you can do is to keep trying, although then you run the risk of being accused of harassment I guess. I'd love to think if you kept trying, at least every now and then, your daughter would eventually speak to you. Would you have a better chance with your other kids? Then only other thing that I can think of that may work is maybe sending a message at the same time every week. It may show that you are trying and are dedicated to maintaining some sort of contact... just a random thought.

Not that it helps any now, but hopefully as your kids get older they will come to realise that you were/are trying to be a good father to them. I can only suggest at the point you're currently at you think about the things that are important to you.. the things worth living for. It sounds like that would be your kids. So while they are rejecting your attempts at contact now, there's always a chance they will come around. They may not realise it right now, but kids need their fathers around so keep trying and keep them in your mind and keep fighting for them. And in the meantime reach out to anyone you can to get you through this... your GP, crisis helplines, support groups, anyone that can help you through so that you will be there when hopefully your kids are more open to contact.

Take good care of yourself John, like I said your kids do need you, and in time they will see that, so don't let them think you've given up on them. Again, I'm so sorry for hat you're going through, I just can't imagine how difficult it must be! We're all here to listen and help however we can John.

Hey @john74 I think you have every reason to be negative, and this is exactly the sort of place where you can bring those raw feelings and know that it's okay to be feeling this way.

I imagine that after two years without any contact, that rejection would have felt extra painful. I think @MJG017 had a good idea with sending regular messages. Another idea could be to write letters, things you wish you could express to your kids, and keep them set aside - as one day when they're older and can make those choices more for themselves, they may come looking for you, and it could be really meaningful to see how much care and devotion you've always had for them.

Coming up to father's day, I can totally see how these feelings would be extra raw. I'm glad you decided to reach out - you can pop into this thread if you like, as I know that you're not the only one who will find this Sunday extra challenging.

Sending some strength and hope your way friend 💜

Thanks @MJG017 they are both adults and l have a granddaughter. I can't imagine what lies my granddaughter is Bern told

Hi @Jynx it's just so frustrating and unnecessary because my ex wife has just turned them against me even though they are adults and one psychologist told me her behaviour indicates an undiagnosed personality disorder she would have bit until the person recognises they have a problem and seeks help nothing will change. She has just destroyed life

Thanks @MJG017 .l am.so scared to try contacting the kids because l fear the response will be bad and l will crash mentally again

I can't believe another person being my ex wife can cause such pain by deprivation of a relationship with my kids by controlling and manipulating them for what? She obviously needs help.

I’m guessing you are not alone in your experiences. I’m only guessing how many 100s of others experience the same thing. @john74

I hope you find a way to look after yourself so that perhaps in the future, your kids will see your strength and resilience and make the choice to contact you.