Leaving my psych

@creative_writerI hope you can find support somewhere else if you feel a psychologist isn't helping you. I had appointments with the 2 psychologists i'm seeing currently and have come to a similar decision, I just don't feel like it's for me anymore.

I told one about my own very recent discovery of the idea of insecure attachment issues and she said 'I hope you can get some help with that' and the other who I saw this week all but told me to go find someone else because my 'wellbeing' scores haven't dropped. When I said I still think the visits help, I was told it's not supposed to be a long term service and that I should decide what I want to do for the next meeting after I said one of my problems is I have no idea what to do anymore. I'm quite disillusioned with the profession at the moment, so I've decided to not continue with either of them.

Do i'm at a similar point. between what i've written above and a few other related issues, I give up as well. I don't feel like my own mental health is high up on their priorities.

@MJG017 I’ve been with the psych for a while, almost 4 years. Don’t get me wrong, it has helped, but I feel like I’ve reached a point where I feel like it’s not doing much for me anymore. I also feel this sense of disconnect from my psych and have for some time. The psych appointments don’t come cheap either, so it only makes sense to continue if it beneficial. I don’t want to be in therapy forever either. I’ve only been seeing my psych every month or so anyways, I used to see her fortnightly when I first started off. Sometimes I don’t know if there is anything else that can be done, or whether it’s just the painful reality of complex trauma. Don’t we all have to learn to live with our scars? I feel like I was not made to be understood

@creative_writerI came from a position where before I saw my first psychologist about a year ago, I'd never talked to anyone (family, friends, professionals) about anything! I always hid how I was feeling and dealt with stuff on my own because that was just how I learnt to cope while growing up.

So I was pretty pleased with myself for finally seeking some professional help and thought it would be a bit of a breakthrough for me mentally. And I guess it was at the start, but I soon found it a bit too much listening and not much in the way of suggestions. The suggestions I did get were the standard "try to be more positive", "don't assume the worst", "try not to overthink things" etc. When I said that I do try to do those things but I just dont know any other way to deal with problems and that I can't really find many positives, the suggestions just sort of stopped. I then started getting "hints" that maybe this wasn't working and maybe I should reconsider making new appointments. This is how it strongly felt to me anyway.

Not that there's much choice. As you say, it's expensive and I'm not working so I've used 9 of my 10 MHCP visits, and the other service I was seeing now seems to have changed saying it's only supposed to be a short term service when I was told the opposite when I started it a year ago. So i'm now sort of thinking similar to what you wrote... I have absolutely no idea what else I can do, and that maybe life is what it is and I just need to cope with it as best I can. "Not being made to be understood" is a pretty succinct way to put it.

@MJG017 I’ve been thinking this afternoon. Maybe talk therapy isn’t what I need, maybe I need more somatic therapy. I have a lot of trauma stored in the body, and lately I’ve been finding mindfulness based body exercises has been triggering the release of somatic flashbacks. I’ll feel the trauma happening all over again in my body, it’s quite gruesome. Talking isn’t really getting me anywhere right now. It’s just a thought I’ve had, I’m not sure if it resonates with you. I hold enormous amount of tension in my bed. Even when the mind does not think, the body remembers.

According to the modern philosophy of therapy, it often involves limited session. I know in the organisation I am doing my placement in, therapy sessions are limited. Sometimes some people may need more sessions with complex mental health concerns, but I think it’s fair enough to say many of us don’t want to be in therapy for the rest of our lives

hey @creative_writer i hear you. i know it can be hard to believe that things will work out for the best in the future especially when the present is so overwhelming and not going the way we'd hoped.

i can't speak about bipolar experiences but i can speak about my social anxiety, depression and childhood trauma - i struggled with trusting and finding supports at first too, i was invalidated by my psych and felt like stuck in this place of no progression and just feeling like its not worth advocating for myself. but i'm so glad i found a new psych and continued. i didn't think i'd feel better or see any changes in my life but i did and still do.

it is not your fault you feel this way and i'm so sorry you do, its an exhausting feeling but i assure you - you deserve to be supported and you deserve to live the life you want to lead. trust can be tricky but communicating that to your therapist and taking your time to practice building trust IS possible. perhaps a new therapist will give you a fresh slate to work on building trust? reminding yourself that they are there to help YOU and not judge you, and also being open to them about whats working for you and what isn't can be useful, you know you best. 💗

@creative_writer yeah i think with that added layer of social anxiety, speaking up for ourselves and telling professionals that something isn't working/we don't agree with something they've said takes a lot of energy and effort. i remember feelings so overwhelmed and sweaty after every psych session, and feeling the need to just agree with whatever the psych said. the truth is, they only know how much we tell them and sometimes they make assumptions that we may need to correct so they can better support us.

it is confusing when we're invalidated right? it's hard to tell if we're in the wrong or if they're in the wrong. i read this quote about how "feelings are always valid but actions aren't" - so whatever you felt will always be valid and no one can tell you how to feel or say your feelings are wrong (unless you actually mislabeled them). but they can help corrections actions/behaviours which over time will influence your feelings and help change those.

i'm sorry you've had to deal with invalidating and toxic professionals in the past, hopefully changing psych's gets a step closer to find a support that gets you. it make take a few switches to find the one that clicks, and it will be worth it. self-blame can be heavy, you deserve kindness and you do matter. have you practiced talking kind words to yourself / self-affirmations?

@creative_writer hmm that's an interesting point you've brought up about a sense of disconnect and live experience. I'm wondering if you've ever tried peer support before? If you haven't it involves connecting you with someone who has similar mental health lived experiences and they're not clinical professionals, they just use their experience and recovery to support you and help you work through things.

Also has your previous supports had similar cultural backgrounds to you? Or similar age group to you? I have noticed that the age, gender and cultural background of the psych/clinician has had a big impact on how comfortable and validated I feel by them. I also recommend checking the google reviews of clinics before attending them if you want to save some time deciding between clinics.

I agree - facial expressions and body language does tell you a lot about the psych, but also maybe we tend to overanalyse, over critique and misjudge them because of our social anxiety?

it does feel quite weird saying self-affirmations at the start. the more kindly we practice speaking about ourselves, the easier it will get. i just want to say that you're not alone, even if it feels like it - we care about you and i'm here to listen, there's no judgement here 💗