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Something’s not right

fuck this shit I’m out (but also not 🙃🥲)

BlackcloudSenior Contributor10 Aug 2024, 11:14 pm AEST

fuck this shit I’m out (but also not 🙃🥲)

I feel so unloved and unlikeable in real life just because of something I usually am or usually do that’s out of my control that people shouldn’t even expect me to change… I’m talking about in terms of, well….when the teacher tells us to get into groups and I don’t engage with anyone in the class, then I expect at least someone to ask me if I wanna be in their group, but no. I always have to be the one to ask them if I can join their group. This doesn’t only apply to uni, but it also applied to back when I was in high school too and I always had and have no friends, just cause of something I simply can’t change.

And the class I’m complaining right now about is a class that consists of doing practical labs throughout the majority of the unit/subject this semester.

yes I’m writing this at 11:10pm cause these are the thoughts that just popped up in my mind whilst I’m supposed to be sleeping.

and this is because we’re about to have a practical assessment that consists of having to be in groups. Now my teacher did say to me that since the assignment has been made by the government, she unfortunately can’t make the modifications for me in regards to doing it on my own instead of in a group accorded to my ‘equitable assessment arrangement plan’…. So…. Yay 😐

I have talked to a couple of people in my classes so far but that’s very much it I guess. And the amount of people that are currently doing the same course as me is more than 20 of us, so we’re quite of a big class…

3 replies

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In response to: fuck this shit I’m out (but also not 🙃🥲)

RiverSealModerator11 Aug 2024, 2:40 pm AEST

Re: fuck this shit I’m out (but also not 🙃🥲)

Hey @Blackcloud, thank you for sharing your experiences with the community!

It sounds like you are dealing with a lot and having to sit uncomfortably with group assessments in class. I can relate as I am studying at TAFE and found it challenging to do group work and the connection required with my classmates. I also found that I didn't make friends easily in class and I was very self-conscious about my MH experiences.

It's great that you have an equitable assessment arrangement plan, and I have the same at my TAFE. I don't have experience applying it to group work, and I encourage you to continue to speak with your teacher about extensions and more support if you need it.

It's so amazing that you are studying, and I hope you get something out of learning!

Take care

RiverSeal

In response to: fuck this shit I’m out (but also not 🙃🥲)

MJG017Senior Contributor11 Aug 2024, 2:52 pm AEST

Re: fuck this shit I’m out (but also not 🙃🥲)

@BlackcloudI remember going through the same stuff in school. Now in my 50's i'm better at group stuff, but not much. Well, I suppose it's more accurate to say I still find it incredibly difficult, but that it's an improvement of when I was in school where I found in near impossible.

One thing I've learned (or assumed) as I've gotten older is that if you're really introverted people do just seem to assume you want to be left alone and are more than happy to leave you to it. Especially once you're outside of high school. Primary and high school can be like 'Lord of the flies' when you don't really fit in.

If you have to ask a group if you can join then that is unfortunately just probably how it has to be... at first anyway. Hopefully once you've worked with them a bit and got to know each other a bit more you wont need to ask anymore.

It's always tough for me to hear about people going through the same s#&@ I grew up with because I wouldn't wish it on anyone! I generally found I only needed to find one person I got on well with and that was enough to get me through. If there was a group thing, I just went with them.

It took me until I was 40... more than a decade ago now) until I got desperate enough to want to improve my social skills at least a little bit. I joined an online forum like this, found a few similar people who understood, got to know them and I found it improved my confidence around people quite a bit. It's still not great, but it's better.

So try not (so difficult I know.. and I feel hypocritical even suggesting it) to take it personally and just try to feel better about just asking to join a group and you'll hopefully find it gets easier during the course. I wish you the best of luck and hope things start to improve for you very soon, and that reaching out here and sharing your story helps you feel like you're not so alone in this and there's a lot of people out there who know exactly what you're going through.

In response to: Re: fuck this shit I’m out (but also not 🙃🥲)

BlackcloudSenior Contributor11 Aug 2024, 3:49 pm AEST

Re: fuck this shit I’m out (but also not 🙃🥲)

Hi @RiverSeal yea I have spoken with my teacher about the additional support and all that, and luckily she did say that for the assessment, the small portion of it will consist of group work whereas a large portion of the assessment will involve doing it on your own. I dont know if that has to do with my assessment adjustment arrangements, but yeah unfortunately since the assessment is made by the government, I unfortunately would have to be in a group for the assessment lab thing 🥲

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