How to let go of the ones you love

@Lostsoul30 oh gosh, first of all I hope it's okay I send you a big hug? Cos that's a LOT that you're dealing with, and I am not even remotely surprised that you're feeling so completely overwhelmed!!

I think something that folks don't really talk about, or know how to talk about, is the odd type of grief that we can experience when caring for someone with a terminal illness. It's almost like... pre-grief, this feeling of knowing we will have to deal with the pain of the loss, but the loss hasn't happened yet, and the anticipation can feel like such an emotional rollercoaster. My dad has Parkinson's, and he's really declined lately... so I'm riding that rollercoaster with you 🫂

It sounds like you're doing so much for them and not getting much support yourself. It's okay to feel burnt out, overwhelmed, even resentful - all normal emotions to experience. You deserve to be able to take a break, nurture your own mind and body - do you have the ability to make time for just you, each week? It's SO important for carers - 'one cannot pour from an empty cup' and all that.

Carers Australia might be a good point of contact for some support, perhaps you could reach out to them (if you haven't already)? Another good source of support would be Griefline - cos like I said before, we can still experience a kind of 'grief' even if the person has not passed on. And of course pls feel free to lean on our lovely counsellors on the SANE Support Line as much as you need - they're available Mon-Fri 10am-8pm by calling 1800 187 263 💜

Hi @Lostsoul30,

Thank you for sharing, and I am very sorry to see that you're going through such a difficult situation right now. I can only imagine how worrying and exhausting it must be to watch this happening. Life can be so unfair…

You must be a very strong person to take on the role of carer of both of your parents, and they're very lucky to have you. As distressing as it is right now, you are also very lucky to be able to spend this time with them.

You've mentioned that you are also dealing with your own physical and mental health challenges — I hope that you can see the importance of prioritising your own wellbeing… I understand it is much easier said than done when you're a carer, but we end up burnt out if we don't practice a bit of self-care here and there.

You did the right thing reaching out for some support because we can't do this work alone.

I agree with @Jynx's wonderful suggestions, perhaps reaching out to those support services would be a good way to take a bit of time to focus on your needs.

We're always here for you and hope to hear back from you soon.

Take care and remember to be kind to yourself.

Hey @Lostsoul30, just read your message & although I haven't dealt with a similar situation, I wanted to send you lots of love, positive energy and care 💗

Even when things are getting tough and overwhelming, you're here - reaching out and doing your best, so proud of you for that 💖