Lostsoul30Contributor
Being a carer is killing me
Hi, I'm new here.. I'm not even sure if I'm doing this right or if I will get any help by doing this, but I'm in a desperate place and I need help!
So my story is quite difficult to explain and there is so much information to be said but I will break it down and hope I can receive some help or advice on this.
Few years ago I became a carer for my mum and dad who became very unwell at the exact same time..
Dad ended up in hospital and I sat by his bed watching him die being told to make arrangements.. which was the worst time of my entire life.. few days later mum ended up nearly dying in my care... She was unwell but because it was all a stressful time with my dad and I was alone I didn't see how bad she was, deep down I knew she was sick but I woke one morning ready to go see my dad in hospital when I found mum in her room alone and she was unresponsive, she'd had a seizure alone! Now I was being told mum was going die too.. so this destroyed me so unbelievably that till this day I'm carrying this pain and trauma inside all alone..
Anyway skipping ahead.. gratefully they both made it through with great difficulty and much stress and pain.
But I am a sole carer for both of them and their situation is not getting better.. dad has a very bad heart diabetes lung cancer and many other illnesses.. mum has a brain tumour and many other illnesses aswell..
Currently I am struggling with being their carer because I am watching them day in and day out declining in their health and it's taking a toll on my mental health and on my body and on my soul..
I tell them to eat better and do things that make them happy and to stop doing things that will make them more sick.. but it is an endless battle with them, constantly fighting because I'm telling them to do things they don't want to listen too and when I mention how hard this is on me or what toll it's taking they don't seem to understand I'm doing it tough.
I don't want to lose them because they are the only family I have.. I'm single jobless no friends and very lonely and suffer mental health issues which some stop me from having a normal life..
I feel so depressed that I have wasted time not creating my own life and when they are gone I will be all alone and I'm scared.. I don't know what to do!
I'm sorry for the long essay I tried to keep it short as I can.. but like I said I'm desperate and I need help. I need someone to tell me how to keep going and NOT give up.
