Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.
MarronButterFlySenior Contributor
i am my parents daughter
and I always have been,
but I've put in the work to not be anything like them
i try to think of others and not just myself
i don't clench my fits in rage
instead i let my hands be held
but then i spend time with them
and suddenly i whither away into an angry little girl
In response to: I am my parents daughter
StoutSenior Contributor
Hi @MarronButterFly
I hope you don't mind me replying. I did the same as you, cleaning the closet of parental leftovers. I ended up being aloner. Much later mum fought her way back to me. It took her two years to get into me her son. It was then that I found the nice human mother parts she desperately wanted me to find.
This is a decades long story.
In response to: I am my parents daughter
Captain24Senior Contributor
OMG @MarronButterFly. I could have written that!
I want you to know that I hear you and 100% get it!
Im so sorry that this happens to you. Do you spend time with them often? Do you have some boundaries in place?
My parents and my brother are not nice people and I do everything I can to not be like them. To be nicer, more compassionate and more considerate with others.
When I have to spend to much time with them, I revert back to that little girl who was never enough.
In response to: I am my parents daughter
8ppleTreeSenior Contributor
@MarronButterFly
Thank you for sharing your writing! 💜
In response to: I am my parents daughter
AsgardSenior Contributor
Morning @MarronButterFly
Your poem highlighted to me that whenever I visit my parents home, I am suddenly seen as that 8y/o who can't be trusted. It even goes so far as me sitting in "my" spot at the dinner table and me undertaking the same chores as when I was a kid. I wonder does this happen to other people......Asgard
In response to: Re: I am my parents daughter
Captain24Senior Contributor
Yes @Asgard My spot! My place in the pecking order. My same fear.
In response to: Re: I am my parents daughter
AsgardSenior Contributor
Morning @Captain24
Glad to know i'm not the only one. My spot was between Mam and Dad, so each of them could give me a clip across the ear!!!! I was number 4 of 5, so I wasn't the baby nor did I ever get new stuff, it was always hand me downs. Man, this has reawakened a lot of memories, some good and some not so.......Asgard
In response to: Re: I am my parents daughter
Captain24Senior Contributor
I just had a psych appointment that focused on my childhood @Asgard. This is really hitting home!
Hope you are ok
In response to: I am my parents daughter
CarloSenior Contributor
YES, it is a strange feeling. It is strange to watch and be aware of it happening again, again, and again.
I see it as the partner of a daughter who relives it often.
We hope that we have changed and become a different person.
I don't know what's the best approach. But I'm sure that being aware is the first and most important step.
Good luck and stay strong.
Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.
Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.
You’ll soon be able to use one secure login to access all SANE services.
For added security, members are now required to log in with their email address and password - member names are no longer supported for logging in.
If you had a Forums account before 19 May 2026 and haven’t set up your new login yet, you'll be prompted to set up your new secure login when you sign-in.
Fields marked * are required
